Wizard's First Rule - Terry Goodkind [58]
Richard’s chest heaved with the burning hurt of his grief at knowing now what had happened to his father, and with that knowledge there was closure, too. Thoughts he had never permitted himself to have became his only desire. Caution and consequence vanished before a flood of lust for vengeance.
In that instant, his only want, his only desire, his only need, was to kill Darken Rahl. Nothing else had any significance.
With his other hand he reached out and seized the hilt of his sword to pull it free. Zedd’s hand clamped down over his. The Seeker’s eyes snapped up, livid at the interference.
“Richard.” Zedd’s voice was gentle. “Calm down.”
The Seeker, his muscles flexing powerfully, glowered into the other’s tranquil eyes. Some part of him, deep in the back of his mind, kept warning him, trying to regain control. He ignored the warning. He bent over the table to the wizard, his teeth gritted.
“I accept the position of Seeker.”
“Richard,” Zedd repeated calmly, “it’s all right. Relax. Sit down.”
The world came rushing back into his mind. He pulled his readiness to kill back a notch, but not his rage. Not only the door, but also the wall that had contained his anger, was gone. Even though the world about him had returned, it was a world seen through different eyes—eyes he had always had, but had been afraid to use: the eyes of a Seeker.
Richard realized that he was standing. He didn’t remember getting up. He sat again next to Kahlan, removing his hands from the sword. Something inside him regained control of his anger. It wasn’t the same as before, though. It didn’t shut it away, didn’t lock it behind a door, but pulled it back, unafraid, to make it ready when needed again.
Some of his old self seeped back into his mind, calming him, slowing his breathing, reasoning within him. He felt liberated, unafraid, unashamed of his temper for the first time. He allowed himself to sit there while he uncoiled, feeling his muscles relax.
He looked up into Zedd’s calm, undisturbed face. The old man, his thatch of white hair framing an angular face set in a perceptive cast, studied him, assessed him with the slightest hint of a smile fixed at the corners of his thin mouth.
“Congratulations,” the wizard said. “You have passed my final test to become Seeker.”
Richard pulled back in confusion. “What do you mean? You already appointed me Seeker.”
Zedd shook his head slowly. “I told you before. Weren’t you listening? A Seeker appoints himself. Before you could become Seeker you had to pass one determinative test. You had to show me you could use all your mind. For many years, Richard, you have kept part of it locked away. Your anger. I had to know you could release it, call upon it. I’ve seen you angry, but you were unable to admit your anger to yourself. A Seeker who couldn’t allow himself to use his anger would be hopelessly weak. It is the strength of rage that gives the heedless drive to prevail. Without the anger, you would have turned down the sword, and I would have let you, because you wouldn’t have had what was required. But that is irrelevant now. You have proven you are no longer a prisoner to your fears. Be cautioned, though. As important as it is to be able to use your rage, it is equally important to be able to restrain it. You have always had that ability. Don’t let yourself lose it now. You must be wise enough to know which path to choose. Sometimes letting out the anger is an even more grievous mistake than holding it in.”
Richard nodded solemnly. He thought about the way it felt to hold the sword when he was in the rage, the way he felt its power, the liberating sensation of giving himself over to the primal urge, from within himself, and from the sword.
“The sword has magic,” he said guardedly. “I felt it.”
“It does. But Richard, magic is only a tool, like any other. When you use a whetstone to sharpen a knife, you are simply making the knife work better for its intended purpose. Same way with the magic. It’s just a honing of the intent.” Zedd’s eyes were