Wolves of the Calla - Stephen King [123]
Most of all about how sometimes you had to have it.
“The wars? I don’t know,” Callahan said. Then he sighed and nodded. “Yes, I suppose so. I spent that first day in movie theaters and that first night in Washington Square Park. I saw that the other homeless people covered themselves up with newspapers, so that’s what I did. And here’s an example of how life—the quality of life and the texture of life—seemed to have changed for me, beginning on the day of Danny Glick’s burial. You won’t understand right away, but bear with me.” He looked at Eddie and smiled. “And don’t worry, son, I’m not going to talk the day away. Or even the morning.”
“You go on and tell it any old way it does ya fine,” Eddie said.
Callahan burst out laughing. “Say thankya! Aye, say thankya big! What I was going to tell you is that I’d covered my top half with the Daily News and the headline said HITLER BROTHERS STRIKE IN QUEENS.”
“Oh my God, the Hitler Brothers,” Eddie said. “I remember them. Couple of morons. They beat up…what? Jews? Blacks?”
“Both,” Callahan said. “And carved swastikas on their foreheads. They didn’t have a chance to finish mine. Which is good, because what they had in mind after the cutting was a lot more than a simple beating. And that was years later, when I came back to New York.”
“Swastika,” Roland said. “The sigul on the plane we found near River Crossing? The one with David Quick inside it?”
“Uh-huh,” Eddie said, and drew one in the grass with the toe of his boot. The grass sprang up almost immediately, but not before Roland saw that yes, the mark on Callahan’s forehead could have been meant to be one of those. If it had been finished.
“On that day in late October of 1975,” Callahan said, “the Hitler Brothers were just a headline I slept under. I spent most of that second day in New York walking around and fighting the urge to score a bottle. There was part of me that wanted to fight instead of drink. To try and atone. At the same time, I could feel Barlow’s blood working into me, getting in deeper and deeper. The world smelled different, and not better. Things looked different, and not better. And the taste of him came creeping back into my mouth, a taste like dead fish or rotten wine.
“I had no hope of salvation. Never think it. But atonement isn’t about salvation, anyway. Not about heaven. It’s about clearing your conscience here on earth. And you can’t do it drunk. I didn’t think of myself as an alcoholic, not even then, but I did wonder if he’d turned me into a vampire. If the sun would start to burn my skin, and I’d start looking at ladies’ necks.” He shrugged, laughed. “Or maybe gentlemen’s. You know what they say about the priesthood; we’re just a bunch of closet queers running around and shaking the cross in people’s faces.”
“But you weren’t a vampire,” Eddie said.
“Not even a Type Three. Nothing but unclean. On the outside of everything. Cast away. Always smelling his stink and always seeing the world the way things like him must see it, in shades of gray and red. Red was the only bright color I was allowed to see for years. Everything else was just a whisper.
“I guess I was looking for a Manpower office—you know, the day-labor company? I was still pretty rugged in those days, and of course I was a lot younger, as well.
“I didn’t find Manpower. What I did find was a place called Home. This was on First Avenue and Forty-seventh Street, not far from the U.N.”
Roland, Eddie, and Susannah exchanged a look. Whatever Home was, it had existed only two blocks from the vacant lot. Only it wouldn’t have been vacant back then, Eddie thought. Not back in 1975. In ’75 it would still have been Tom and Jerry’s Artistic Deli, Party Platters Our Specialty. He suddenly wished Jake were here. Eddie thought that by now the kid would have been jumping up and down with excitement.
“What kind of shop was Home?” Roland asked.
“Not a shop at all. A shelter. A wet shelter. I can’t say for sure that it was the only one in Manhattan, but I bet it was one of the very few. I didn’t know much about shelters then—just a little bit