Women - Charles Bukowski [244]
I didn’t know which of us she was speaking to.
Back at my place we sat on the couch drinking.
“Are you unhappy that I came?” Tanya asked.
“I’m not unhappy with you…”
“You had a girl friend. You wrote me about her. Are you still together?”
“I don’t know.”
“You want me to leave?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Listen, I think you’re a great writer. You’re one of the few writers I can read.”
“Yeah? Who are the other bastards?”
“I can’t think of their names right now.”
I leaned over and kissed her. Her mouth was open and wet. She gave up easily. She was a number. Ninety pounds. It was like an elephant and a churchmouse.
Tanya got up with her drink, hiked up her skirt, and straddled my legs, facing me. She wasn’t wearing pants. She began rubbing her cunt against my hard-on. We grabbed and kissed and she kept rubbing. It was very effective. Wriggle, little snake child!
Then Tanya unzipped my pants. She took my cock and pushed it into her cunt. She began riding. She could do it, all 90 pounds of her. I could hardly think. I made small half-hearted movements, meeting her now and then. At times we kissed. It was gross: I was being raped by a child. She moved it around. She had me cornered, trapped. It was mad. Flesh alone, without love. We were filling the air with the stink of pure sex. My child, my child. How can your small body do all these things? Who invented woman? For what ultimate purpose? Take this shaft! And we were perfect strangers! It was like fucking your own shit.
She worked at it like a monkey on a string. Tanya was a faithful reader of all my works. She bore down. That child knew something. She could sense my anguish. She worked away furiously, playing with her clit with one finger, her head thrown back. We were caught up together in the oldest and most exciting game of all. We came together and it lasted and lasted until I thought my heart would stop. She fell against me, tiny and frail. I touched her hair. She was sweating. Then she pulled herself off me and went to the bathroom.
Child rape, finalized. They taught children well nowadays. Rapist raped. A final justice. Was she a “liberated” woman? No, she was simply red hot.
Tanya came out. We had another drink. Damn it, she began to laugh and chat, almost as if nothing had happened. Yes, that was it. It had simply been some exercise for her, like jogging or swimming.
Tanya said, “I think I’m going to have to move out of where I live. Rex is giving me a hard time.”
“Oh.”
“I mean, we don’t have sex, we never have, yet he’s so jealous. Remember the night you phoned me?”
“No.”
“Well, after I hung up he ripped the phone out of the wall.”
‘“He may be in love with you. Better be good to him.”
“Are you good to the people who love you?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Why?”
“I’m infantile; I can’t handle it.”
We drank for the remainder of the night then went to bed shortly before dawn. I hadn’t split that 90 pounds in half. She could handle me and much much more.
102
When I awakened a few hours later, Tanya was not in the bed. It was only 9 AM. I found her sitting on the couch drinking out of a pint of whiskey.
“Jesus, you start early.”
“I always wake up at 6 AM and I get up.”
“I always get up at noon. We’re going to have a problem.”
Tanya hit the whiskey and I went back to bed. Rising at 6 AM was insanity. Her nerves must be shot. No wonder she didn’t weigh anything.
She walked in. “I’m going for a walk.”
“O.K.”
I went back to sleep.
When I next awakened Tanya was on top of me. My cock was hard and buried into her cunt. She was riding me again. She threw back her head, arched her body back. She was doing all the work. She gave little gasps of delight and the gasps kept getting closer and closer. I also began making sounds. They got louder. I could feel myself approaching. I was right there. Then it happened. It was a good long hard climax. Then Tanya climbed off. I was still hard. Tanya put her head down there and while looking into my eyes she began to tongue the sperm off the head of my cock. She was some scullery maid.
She got up and