Women - Charles Bukowski [73]
“I want to go to the beach. Will you take me to the beach, Hank?” Cecelia asked.
“Tonight?”
“No, not tonight. But sometime before I leave.”
“All right.”
Cecelia talked about how the American Indian had been abused. Then she told me that she wrote, but she never submitted it, she just kept a notebook. Bill had encouraged and helped her with some of her things. She’d helped Bill get through the university. Of course, the G.I. Bill had helped, too. And there had always been codeine, he had always been hooked on codeine. She’d threatened to leave him again and again, but it didn’t help. Now—
“Drink this, Cecelia,” I said, “it will help you forget.”
I poured her a tall one.
“Oh, I couldn’t drink all that!”
“Cross your legs higher. Let me see more of your legs.”
“Bill never talked to me like that.”
I continued to drink. Cecelia continued to talk. After a while I didn’t listen. Midnight came and left.
“Listen, Cecelia, let’s go to bed. I’m bombed.”
I walked into the bedroom and undressed, got under the covers. I heard her walk by and go into the bathroom. I switched the bedroom light off. She came out soon and I felt her getting into the other side of the bed.
“Goodnight, Cecelia,” I said.
I pulled her to me. She was naked. Jesus, I thought. We kissed. She kissed very well. It was a long, hot one. We finished.
“Cecelia?”
“Yes?”
“I’ll fuck you some other time.”
I rolled over and went to sleep.
79
Bobby and Valerie came by and I introduced everybody around.
“Valerie and I are going to take a vacation and rent rooms by the seashore in Manhattan Beach,” said Bobby. “Why don’t you guys come along? We could split the rent. There are two bedrooms.”
“No, Bobby, I don’t think so.”
“Oh, Hank, please!” said Cecelia. “I just love the ocean! Hank, if we go down there I’ll even drink with you. I promise!”
“All right, Cecelia.”
“Fine,” said Bobby. “We leave this evening. We’ll pick you guys up around 6 PM. We’ll have dinner together.”
“That sounds real good,” said Cecelia.
“Hank’s fun to eat with,” said Valerie. “Last time we went out with him we walked into this fancy place and he told the head waiter right off, ‘I want cole slaw and french fries for my friends here! A double order of each, and don’t water the drinks or I’ll have your coat and tie!’”
“I can’t wait!” said Cecelia.
Cecelia wanted to go for a constitutional around 2 PM. We walked through the court. She noticed the poinsettias. She walked right up to a bush and stuck her face into the flowers, caressing them with her fingers.
“Oh, they’re so beautiful!”
“They’re dying, Cecelia. Can’t you see how shriveled they are? The smog is killing them.”
We walked along under the palms.
“And there are birds everywhere! Hundreds of birds, Hank!”
“And dozens of cats.”
We drove to Manhattan Beach with Bobby and Valerie, moved into our waterfront apartment and went out to eat. The dinner was fair. Cecelia had one drink with her dinner and explained all about her vegetarianism. She had soup, salad and yogurt; the remainder of us had steaks, french fries, french bread, and salad. Bobby and Valerie stole the salt and pepper shakers, two steak knives and the tip I had left for the waiter.
We stopped for liquor, ice and smokes, then went back to the apartment. Her one drink had Cecelia giggling and talking and she was explaining that animals had souls too. Nobody challenged her opinion. It was possible, we knew. What we weren’t sure of was if we had any.
80
We continued drinking. Cecelia had just one more and stopped.
“I want to go out and look at the moon and stars,” she said. “It’s so beautiful out!”
“All right, Cecelia.”
She went outside by the swimming pool and sat in a deck chair.
“No wonder Bill died,” I said. “He starved. She never gives it away.”
“She talked the same way about you at dinner when you went to the men’s room,” said Valerie. “She said, ‘Oh, Hank’s poems are so full of passion, but as a person he’s not that way at all!’”
“Me and God don’t always pick the same horse.