Works of Charles Dickens - Charles Dickens [5667]
However, Wegg's comfort was, that all his disagreeables were now over, and that he was immediately coming into his property. Of late, the grindstone did undoubtedly appear to have been whirling at his own nose rather than Boffin's, but Boffin's nose was now to be sharpened fine. Thus far, Mr Wegg had let his dusty friend off lightly, having been baulked in that amiable design of frequently dining with him, by the machinations of the sleepless dustman. He had been constrained to depute Mr Venus to keep their dusty friend, Boffin, under inspection, while he himself turned lank and lean at the Bower.
To Mr Venus's museum Mr Wegg repaired when at length the Mounds were down and gone. It being evening, he found that gentleman, as he expected, seated over his fire; but did not find him, as he expected, floating his powerful mind in tea.
'Why, you smell rather comfortable here!' said Wegg, seeming to take it ill, and stopping and sniffing as he entered.
'I AM rather comfortable, sir,' said Venus.
'You don't use lemon in your business, do you?' asked Wegg, sniffing again.
'No, Mr Wegg,' said Venus. 'When I use it at all, I mostly use it in cobblers' punch.'
'What do you call cobblers' punch?' demanded Wegg, in a worse humour than before.
'It's difficult to impart the receipt for it, sir,' returned Venus, 'because, however particular you may be in allotting your materials, so much will still depend upon the individual gifts, and there being a feeling thrown into it. But the groundwork is gin.'
'In a Dutch bottle?' said Wegg gloomily, as he sat himself down.
'Very good, sir, very good!' cried Venus. 'Will you partake, sir?'
'Will I partake?' returned Wegg very surlily. 'Why, of course I will! WILL a man partake, as has been tormented out of his five senses by an everlasting dustman with his head tied up! WILL he, too! As if he wouldn't!'
'Don't let it put you out, Mr Wegg. You don't seem in your usual spirits.'
'If you come to that, you don't seem in your usual spirits,' growled Wegg. 'You seem to be setting up for lively.'
This circumstance appeared, in his then state of mind, to give Mr Wegg uncommon offence.
'And you've been having your hair cut!' said Wegg, missing the usual dusty shock.
'Yes, Mr Wegg. But don't let that put you out, either.'
'And I am blest if you ain't getting fat!' said Wegg, with culminating discontent. 'What are you going to do next?'
'Well, Mr Wegg,' said Venus, smiling in a sprightly manner, 'I suspect you could hardly guess what I am going to do next.'
'I don't want to guess,' retorted Wegg. 'All I've got to say is, that it's well for you that the diwision of labour has been what it has been. It's well for you to have had so light a part in this business, when mine has been so heavy. You haven't had YOUR rest broke, I'll be bound.'
'Not at all, sir,' said Venus. 'Never rested so well in all my life, I thank you.'
'Ah!' grumbled Wegg, 'you should have been me. If you had been me, and had been fretted out of your bed, and your sleep, and your meals, and your mind, for a stretch of months together, you'd have been out of condition