Writing Analytically, 6th Edition - Rosenwasser, David & Stephen, Jill [145]
Revising the Draft Using 10 on 1 and Difference Within Similarity
How might the writer make better use of the evidence he has collected, using the principle of looking for difference within similarity?
Revision Strategy 1: Assume that the essay’s “answer”—its conclusion about the evidence—does not yet go far enough. Rather than having to throw out his thinking, the writer should consider, as is almost always the case in revision, that he hasn’t refined his initial idea enough. As an interpretation of the evidence, it leaves too much unaccounted for.
Revision Strategy 2: Find a “1” to use with 10 on 1—a piece of the evidence sufficiently revealing to be analyzed in more detail; then zoom in on it. In the case of the writer of “Flood Stories,” that 1 might be a single story, which he could examine in more detail. He could then test his claims about this story through comparison and contrast with the other stories. In the existing draft, the writer has not used comparison and contrast to refine his conclusion; he has just imposed the same conclusion on the other stories. Alternatively, the 1 might be the single most interesting feature that the three stories share.
Revision Strategy 3: To find the most revealing piece or feature of the evidence, keep asking, What can be said with some certainty about the evidence? This question will induce a writer to rehearse the facts to keep them fresh, so that his or her first impressions don’t “contaminate” or distort consideration of subsequent evidence.
If the writer were to apply these strategies, he might have a conversation with himself that sounded something like this:
“What can I say with some certainty about my evidence?”
“In all three of these stories, a first civilization created by a god is destroyed by the same means—a flood.”
Notice that this is a factual description of the evidence rather than a speculation about it. You are always better off to report the facts in your evidence carefully and fully before moving to conclusions. (This is harder to do than you might think.)
“What else is certain about the evidence?”
“In each case the gods leave a surviving pair to rebuild the civilization rather than just wiping everybody out and inventing a new kind of being. Interestingly, the gods begin again by choosing from the same stock that failed the first time around.”
Mulling over the evidence in this way—taking care to lay out the facts and distinguish them from speculation—can help you decide what evidence to zoom in on. One of the chief advantages of zooms is that they get you in close enough to your evidence to see the questions its details imply.
Revision Strategy 4: Examine the evidence closely enough to see what questions the details imply and what other patterns they reveal. So far, the writer has worked mostly from two quite general questions: Why did the gods decide to wipe out their creations? And why do the gods need human beings? But there are other questions his evidence might prompt him to ask. In each story, for example, the gods are disappointed by humankind, yet they don’t invent submissive robots who will dedicate their lives to making the deities feel good about themselves. Why not? This question might cause the writer to uncover a shared feature of his examples (a pattern) that he has thus far not considered—the surviving pairs.
Revision Strategy 5: Uncover implications in your zoom that can develop your interpretation further. Having selected the surviving pairs for more detailed examination, what might the writer conclude about them? One interesting fact that the surviving pairs reveal is that the flood stories are not only descriptions of the end of a world but also creation accounts, because they also tell us how a new civilization, the existing one, got started.
Revision Strategy 6: Look for difference within similarity to better focus the thesis. Given the recurrence of the survival pairs in the three stories, where might the writer locate a significant difference?