Writing Analytically, 6th Edition - Rosenwasser, David & Stephen, Jill [211]
A less effective thesis shape that can predict the shape of a paper is the list. This shape, in which a writer might offer three points and then devote a section to each, often leads to sloppier thinking than one having a thesis statement containing both subordinate and independent clauses, because the list often does not sufficiently specify the connections among its various components. As a result, it fails to assert a relationship among ideas.
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Try This 15.1: Predicting Essay Shapes from Thesis Shapes
It is a useful skill, both in reading and writing, to predict paper shapes from thesis shapes. For each of the theses below, what shape is predicted? That is, what will probably be discussed first, what second, and why? Which words in the thesis are especially predictive of the shape the paper will take?
The reforms in education, created to alleviate the problems of previous reforms, have served only to magnify the very problems they were meant to solve.
Although women more readily cry in contemporary films, the men, by not crying, seem to win the audience’s favor.
The complications that fuel the plots in today’s romantic comedies arise because women and men express their sensitivity so differently; the resolutions, however, rarely require the men to capitulate.
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THE SHAPING FORCE OF TRANSITIONS
The linkage between where you’ve been and where you’re going is usually a point in your writing at which thinking is taking place. This is especially the case in the evolving rather than the static model of thesis development in which the writer continually updates the thesis as it moves through evidence.
Thinking tends to occur at points of transition.
A good transition articulates a paper’s logical links—how each phase of the paper leads to the next.
Too many additive transitions (“also,” “another example of ”) produce papers that list, an overly loose form of organization
It is useful to think of transitions as directional indicators, especially at the beginnings of paragraphs but also within them. “And,” for example, is a plus sign. It indicates that the writer will add something, continuing in the same direction. The words “but,” “yet,” “nevertheless,” and “however” are among the many transitional words that alert readers to changes in the direction of the writer’s thinking. They might indicate the introduction of a qualification, or a potentially contradictory piece of evidence, or an alternative point of view.
Some additive transitions do more work than “also” or “another.” The word “moreover” is an additive transition, but it adds emphasis to the added point. The transitional sequence “not only… but also” restates and then adds information in a way that clarifies what has gone before.
Too many additive transitions can pose a problem for your writing. A list is a slack form of organization, one that fails to identify how this is related to that. Although transitional wording such as “another example of ” or “also” at the beginning of paragraphs does tell readers that a related point or example will follow, it does not specify that relationship beyond piling on another “and.” Essentially, these words just list.
If you find yourself relying on “another” and “also” at points of transition, force yourself to substitute other transitional wording that indicates more precisely the nature of the relationship with what has gone before in the paper. Language such as “similarly” and “by contrast” can sometimes serve this purpose. Often, some restatement is called for to keep your reader on track—brief repetition is not necessarily redundant. A good transition reaches backward, telling where you’ve been, as the grounds for making a subsequent move forward.
The first step toward improving your use of transitions (and thereby, the organization of your writing) is to become conscious of them. If you notice that