Writing Analytically, 6th Edition - Rosenwasser, David & Stephen, Jill [260]
PERIODIC AND CUMULATIVE SENTENCES: TWO EFFECTIVE SENTENCE SHAPES
The shape of a sentence governs the way it delivers information. The order of clauses, especially the placement of the main clause, affects what the sentence means.
There are two common sentence shapes defined by the location of their main clauses; these are known as periodic and cumulative sentences. The periodic sentence is built on suspense and delay: it puts maximum emphasis on the way the sentence ends. The cumulative sentence aims for upfront impact; there is no suspense, but rather, the rolling momentum of an extended follow-through.
The Periodic Sentence: Delay Closure to Achieve Emphasis
The main clause in a periodic sentence builds to a climax that is not completed until the end. Often, a piece of the main clause (such as the subject) is located early in the sentence, as in the example on the next page.
The way that beverage companies market health—“No Preservatives,” “No Artificial Colors,” “All Natural,” “Real Brewed”—is often, because the product also contains a high percentage of sugar or fructose, misleading.
We have underlined parts of the main clause to clarify how various modifiers interrupt it. The effect is suspenseful: not until the final word does the sentence consummate its fundamental idea. Pieces of the main clause are spread out across the sentence.
Another version of the periodic sentence locates the entire main clause at the end, after introductory modifiers.
Using labels that market health—such as “No Preservatives,” “No Artificial Colors,” “All Natural,” and “Real Brewed”—while producing drinks that contain a high percentage of sugar or fructose, beverage companies are misleading.
As previously discussed, the end of a sentence normally receives emphasis. When you use a periodic construction, the pressure on the end intensifies because the sentence needs the end to complete its grammatical sense. In both of the preceding examples, the sentences “snap shut.” They string readers along, delaying grammatical closure—the point at which the sentences can stand alone independently—until they arrive at climactic ends. (Periodic sentences are also known as climactic sentences.)
You should be aware of one risk that accompanies periodic constructions. If the delay lasts too long because there are too many “interrupters” before the main clause gets completed, your readers may forget the subject being predicated. To illustrate, let’s add more subordinated material to one of the preceding examples.
The way that beverage companies market health—”No Preservatives,” “No Artificial Colors,” “All Natural,” “Real Brewed”—is often, because the product also contains a high percentage of sugar or fructose, not just what New Agers would probably term “immoral” and “misleading” but what a government agency such as the Food and Drug Administration should find illegal.
Arguably, the additions (the “not just” and “but” clauses after “fructose”) push the sentence into incoherence. The main clause has been stretched past the breaking point. If readers don’t get lost in such a sentence, they are at least likely to get irritated and wish the writer would finally get to the point.
Nonetheless, with a little care, periodic sentences can be extraordinarily useful in giving emphasis. If you are revising and want to underscore some point, try letting the sentence snap shut upon it. Often the periodic potential will already be present in the draft, and stylistic editing can bring it out more forcefully. Note how minor the revisions are in the following example:
Draft: The novelist Virginia Woolf suffered from acute anxieties for most of her life. She had several breakdowns and finally committed suicide on the eve of World War II.
Revision: Suffering from acute anxieties for most of her life, the novelist Virginia Woolf not only had several breakdowns but, finally, on the eve of World War II, committed suicide.
This revision has