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Writing Analytically, 6th Edition - Rosenwasser, David & Stephen, Jill [264]

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of prepositions in place of concrete verbs in the active voice (see the next section). Lanham’s proposes a series of steps, which he calls The Paramedic Method, for doing triage on Official Style sentences. He instructs writers to mark all of the prepositions, identify the forms of to be, find the action buried in the sentence and make it into an active verb.

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Try This 18.8: Finding the Active Verb

Take a paper you’ve written and circle the sentences that rely on forms of “to be.” Then, examine the other words in these sentences, looking for “lurkers.” Rewrite the sentences, converting the lurkers into vigorous verbs. You will probably discover many lurkers, and your revisions will acquire more energy and directness.

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ACTIVE AND PASSIVE VOICE: EMPHASIZING THE DOER OR THE ACTION

In the active voice, the grammatical subject acts; in the passive voice, the subject is acted upon. Here are two examples.

Active: Adam Smith wrote The Wealth of Nations in 1776.

Passive: The Wealth of Nations was written by Adam Smith in 1776.

The two sentences convey identical information, but the emphasis differs—the first focuses on the author, the second on the book. As the examples illustrate, using the passive normally results in a longer sentence than using the active. If we consider how to convert the passive into the active, you can see why. In the passive, the verb requires a form of “to be” plus a past participle. (For more on participles, see the Glossary of Grammatical Terms in Chapter 19.) In this case, the active verb “wrote” becomes the passive verb “was written,” the grammatical subject (“Smith”) becomes the object of the preposition “by,” and the direct object (“The Wealth of Nations”) becomes the grammatical subject.

Now consider the activity described in the two versions of this example: a man wrote a book. That’s what happened in life. The grammar of the active version captures that action most clearly: the grammatical subject (“Smith”) performs the action, and the direct object (“The Wealth of Nations”) receives it, just as in life. By contrast, the passive version alters the close link between the syntax and the event: the object of the action in life (“The Wealth of Nations”) has become the grammatical subject, whereas the doer in life (“Smith”) has become the grammatical object of a prepositional phrase.

Note, too, that the passive would allow us to omit “Smith” altogether: “The Wealth of Nations was written in 1776.” A reader who desired to know more and was not aware of the author would not appreciate this sentence. More troubling, the passive can also be used to conceal the doer of an action—not “I made a mistake” (active) but rather “A mistake has been made” (passive).

In sum, there are three reasons for avoiding the passive voice when you can: (1) it’s longer, (2) its grammatical relationships often reverse what happened in life, and (3) it can omit the performer responsible for the action.

On the other hand, sometimes there are good reasons for using the passive. If you want to emphasize the object or recipient of the action rather than the performer, the passive will do that for you: “The Wealth of Nations was written in 1776 by Adam Smith” places the stress on the book. The passive is also preferable when the doer remains unknown: “The president has been shot!” is probably a better sentence than “Some unknown assailant has shot the president!”

Especially in the natural sciences, the use of the passive voice is a standard practice. There are sound reasons for this disciplinary convention: science tends to focus on what happens to something in a given experiment, rather than on the person performing the experiment. Compare the following sentences.

Passive: Separation of the protein was achieved by using an electrophoretic gel.

Active: The researcher used an electrophoretic gel to separate the protein.

If you opted for the active version, the emphasis would rest, illogically, on the agent of the action (the researcher) rather than on what happened and how (electrophoretic

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