Writing Analytically, 6th Edition - Rosenwasser, David & Stephen, Jill [279]
Test yourself 19.7: Broad Reference
Locate the errors in the following examples, and provide a remedy for each.
Regardless of whether the film is foreign or domestic, they can be found in your neighborhood video store.
Many experts now claim that dogs and other higher mammals dream; for those who don’t own such pets, this is often difficult to believe.
A Note on Sexism and Pronoun Usage
Errors in pronoun reference sometimes occur because of a writer’s praiseworthy desire to avoid sexism. In most circles, the following correction of the preceding example would be considered sexist.
It can be dangerous if a child, after watching TV, decides to practice what he saw.
Though the writer of such a sentence may intend “he” to function as a genderneutral impersonal pronoun, it in fact excludes girls on the basis of gender. Implicitly, it also conveys sexual stereotypes (for example, that only boys are violent, or perhaps stupid, enough to confuse TV with reality).
The easiest way to avoid the problem of sexism in pronoun usage usually lies in putting things into the plural form because plural pronouns (“we,” “you,” “they”) have no gender. (See the use of “children” in the first correction of the pronoun–antecedent agreement example.) Alternatively, you can use the phrase “he or she.” Many readers, however, find this phrase and its variant, “s/he,” to be awkward constructions. Another remedy lies in rewriting the sentence to avoid pronouns altogether, as in the following revision. It can be dangerous if a child, after watching TV, decides to practice some violent activity portrayed on the screen.
BWE 6: MISPLACED MODIFIERS AND DANGLING PARTICIPLES
Modifiers are words or groups of words used to qualify, limit, intensify, or explain some other element in a sentence. A misplaced modifier is a word or phrase that appears to modify the wrong word or words.
Misplaced Modifier: modifier appears to modify wrong word
At the age of three he caught a fish with a broken arm.
Correction
At the age of three the boy with a broken arm caught a fish. [noun replaces pronoun; prepositional phrase revised and relocated]
The original sentence mistakenly implies that the fish had a broken arm. Modification errors often occur in sentences with one or more prepositional phrases, as in this case.
Misplaced Modifier: modifier appears to modify wrong word
According to legend, General George Washington crossed the Delaware and celebrated Christmas in a small boat.
Correction
According to legend, General George Washington crossed the Delaware in a small boat and then celebrated Christmas on shore. [prepositional phrase relocated; modifiers added to second verb]
As a general rule, you can avoid misplacing a modifier by keeping it as close as possible to what it modifies. Thus, the second correction removes the implication that Washington celebrated Christmas in a small boat. When you cannot relocate the modifier, separate it from the rest of the sentence with a comma to prevent readers from connecting it to the nearest noun.
A dangling participle creates a particular kind of problem in modification: the noun or pronoun that the writer intends the participial phrase to modify is not actually present in the sentence. Thus, we have the name dangling participle: the participle has been left dangling because the word or phrase it is meant to modify is not there.
Dangling Participle: subject that participle modifies does not appear in the sentence
After debating the issue of tax credits for the elderly, the bill passed in a close vote.
Correction
After debating the issue of tax credits for the elderly, the Senate passed the bill in a close vote. [appropriate noun added for participle to modify]
The bill did not debate the issue, as the original example implies. As the correction demonstrates, fixing a dangling participle involves tightening the link between the activity implied by the participle (“debating”) and the entity performing that