Writing Analytically, 6th Edition - Rosenwasser, David & Stephen, Jill.original_ [168]
FIVE KINDS OF WEAK THESIS STATEMENTS
A thesis that makes no claim (“This paper examines the pros and cons of …”)
A thesis that is obviously true or a statement of fact (“Exercise is good for you”)
A thesis that restates conventional wisdom (“Love conquers all”)
A thesis that offers personal conviction as the basis for the claim (“Shopping malls are wonderful places”)
A thesis that makes an overly broad claim (“Individualism is good”)
Solutions? Be suspicious of your first responses to a subject. Privilege live questions over inert answers. Find ways to bring out the complexity of your subject. Look again at the What It Means to Have an Idea section in Chapter 3, which tells you to start with something puzzling that you want to figure out rather than with something you already believe to be clearly and obviously true. Look back as well to Chapter 11, which guides you to use evidence to complicate your claims and to compose thesis statements that contain inherent tension. When in doubt, do more exploratory writing to trigger better ideas.
FIVE KINDS OF WEAK THESIS STATEMENTS AND HOW TO FIX THEM
WEAK THESIS TYPE 1: THE THESIS MAKES NO CLAIM
Problem Examples
I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in The Origin of Species.
This paper addresses the characteristics of a good corporate manager.
Both problem examples name a subject and link it to the intention to write about it, but they don’t make any claim about the subject. As a result, they direct neither the writer nor the reader toward some position or plan of attack. Even if the second example were rephrased as “This paper addresses why a good corporate manager needs to learn to delegate responsibility,” the thesis would not adequately suggest why such a claim would need to be argued or defended. There is, in short, nothing at stake, no issue to be resolved.
Solution: Raise specific issues for the essay to explore.
Solution Examples
Darwin’s concern with survival of the fittest in The Origin of Species initially leads him to neglect a potentially conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution—survival as a matter of interdependence.
The very trait that makes for an effective corporate manager—the drive to succeed—can also make the leader domineering and, therefore, ineffective.
Some disciplines expect writers to offer statements of method and/or intention in their papers’ openings. Generally, however, these openings also make a claim: for example, “In this paper, I examine how Congressional Republicans undermined the attempts of the Democratic administration to legislate a fiscally responsible health care policy for the elderly,” not “In this paper, I discuss America’s treatment of the elderly.”
WEAK THESIS TYPE 2: THE THESIS IS OBVIOUSLY TRUE OR IS A STATEMENT OF FACT
Problem Examples
The jean industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.
The flight from teaching to research and publishing in higher education is a controversial issue in the academic world. I will show different views and aspects concerning this problem.
A thesis needs to be an assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree.
In the second example, few readers would disagree with the fact that the issue is “controversial.” In the second sentence of that example, the writer has begun to identify a point of view—that the flight from teaching is a problem—but her declaration that she will “show different views and aspects” is a broad statement of fact, not an idea. The phrasing of the claim is noncommittal and so broad that it prevents the writer from formulating a workable thesis.
Solution: Find some avenue of inquiry—a question about the facts or an issue raised by them. Make an assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree.
Solution Examples
By inventing new terms, such as “loose fit” and “relaxed