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Blend concrete and abstract diction, which is generally the language of details and the language of abstractions, respectively. In particular, go easy on those Latinate–tion words.

In given contexts, jargon is useful shorthand, but there is always the danger of getting used by it. Make sure you know what the words mean, and don’t overrely on them.

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Assignment: Thinking About Word Choice

Analyze the Style of a Particular Group Write a paper that analyzes the style of a particular group or profession (for example, sports, advertising, bureaucracy, show business, or music reviewing). Or as an alternative, adopt the voice of a member of this group, and write a parody that critiques or analyzes the language practices of the group. If you choose the latter, be aware that there is always a risk in parody of belittling in an unduly negative way a style that is not your own.

Obviously, you will first need to assemble and make observations about a number of samples of the style you are analyzing or parodying. Use The Method to help you uncover the kinds of words that are repeated, the most common strands, and so forth. Look at the level of formality, the tone, the use of concrete and abstract diction, and the predilection for Latinate as opposed to Anglo-Saxon words. Who’s writing to whom about what, and so what that the writing adopts this style? Also, see the assignments at the end of Chapter 18.

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Chapter 18

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Revising for Style: The Rhetoric of the Sentence

ONE OF THE MOST DISTINCTIVE WAYS of identifying a really good writer is by the way he or she puts together a sentence. A writer who understands how to build sentences is a writer who understands the key concept of sentence style: that there is a powerful link between the shape of a sentence and the shape of a thought. We summarize this key idea with the phrase, a sentence is the shape thought takes. The slide below bullets what shape can do.

A SENTENCE IS THE SHAPE THOUGHT TAKES

What the shape can do:

indicate where to find the important meanings in the sentence

reveal how the other information in the sentence is related to the most important meanings

get readers to follow you and understand you in the way you desire

slow readers down when they need the extra time to understand more complex points

keep them on track, so they know where they are going and they remember where they’ve come from

OPERATING ASSUMPTIONS

In order to compose sentences that will work for you and help your readers access your meaning as you wish them to, it’s necessary for many writers to re-orient the way they think about sentences. This means unlearning some old habits—discarding some unhelpful beliefs—that interfere with writing fluent sentences and replacing these habits with new assumptions about how to construct sentences. The following three “laws” are corollaries of our primary mantra—that every sentence is a shape thought takes.

Every sentence is a delivery system. Stop thinking that a sentence is a neutral carrier of meanings. There’s a good chance you’ve never really thought much about your sentences as sentences—that is, as arrangements of words that always carry rhythm and emphasis, whether you intend them to or not. The sentence always affects, is always part of the content it carries. If you care about the meanings you are asking your sentences to convey, don’t let yourself look past them; train yourself to see them. This takes practice, but it is a very worthwhile skill to acquire.

Every sentence possesses style. Start focusing on what makes sentences right rather than on what makes them wrong. Yes, it matters if you commit lots of sentence-level errors, but temporarily stop worrying about such errors and the rules of grammar (which the next chapter will focus on). Instead, focus on style, the choices a writer makes as he or she fashions meaning for a particular purpose in a particular setting. Start looking actively for sentences you like. Then analyze what you like about