Writing That Works, 3e_ How to Communicate Effectively in Business - Kenneth Roman [46]
Airline mileage is the currency of many current offers. It is accumulated by millions of travelers, who see it as having high value. Discount brokers used to compete on price, but price wars in the category have ended. “Open an E*TRADE account,” says a mailing from the on-line broker, “and earn a sign-up bonus of up to 10,000 Mileage Plus miles.”
You may well be amazed how something free, however small, can add to the power of a sales letter. A free first copy, a free membership certificate, a free pin, free trials. Even a simple pamphlet, perhaps one you’ve already printed for another purpose, can be an effective free offer — and a cheap one.
Small changes in an offer, or even in the way the offer is presented, can make an immense difference in response. If you test nothing else, test your offer.
“Star bursts, underlining, the ‘P.S.’ — those don’t affect the results that much,” says Howard Draft, chairman of Draft Worldwide. “If you come up with the big idea, the big offer, that’s what drives business.”
Start fast — in the first sentence
Even the most accomplished writers struggle to get their first sentences right. E. B. White wasn’t satisfied with his first draft of Charlotte’s Web, especially the opening, and worked on it for more than a year. He tried leading off with Wilbur the pig, Charlotte the spider, and Zuckerman’s barn before deciding on this riveting first sentence:
“Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.
Writers of direct mail don’t have a year to ponder and revise, but they do take pains over their openings. Much direct mail is read over a wastebasket — you have to get to the point quickly. Here’s how one letter actually started. Guess what this letter is selling (hard if not impossible) and what’s likely to happen to it (easy).
Dear Friend:
I receive, as no doubt do you, a fair number of letters asking for attention and not least for money. All, as I’ve often said, tell me at undue length what I already know or do not need to know. The wonderful computer errors of the Republican National Committee apart, I try to read and respond as appropriate. Nonetheless, I yearn for brevity. Not doubting that you share this yearning, I will be brief.
Compare that to the opening of this letter, which ran for years and in test after test beat all alternatives:
Quite frankly, the American Express Card is not for everyone. And not everyone who applies for Cardmembership is approved.
What the pros do
Here are some other practices followed by direct mail professionals:
1. Get people to open the envelope
Always say something on your envelope; it is what your prospects see first. Tease them. Hint at your offer. Tell them about a gift inside — or promise valuable information.
ADVANCE NOTICE
PLEASE OPEN AT ONCE: DATED MATERIALS INSIDE
WE HAVE A FREE GIFT FOR YOU
RECEIVE FOUR ISSUES FREE
7.8% INTEREST ON AND ON (Not an introductory offer)
2. Find the audience, then the message
A sales letter is an advertisement delivered in the mail. Successful advertising starts with a persuasive strategy; strategies start not with what to say, but to whom — the target. It’s only human to try to appeal to everybody. A radio commercial began, “Hey there, men! And that includes you girls.” Resist that temptation.
Try to form a realistic picture of your prospects — age and income, lifestyle and attitudes, the products they use. Then determine the single most important benefit your product or service offers. Most have several benefits, but one must be more important to your prospects than the others. The essence of a successful strategy is sacrifice; play down lesser benefits to concentrate on the one with the most sales power.
3. Favor long letters over short ones
Most amateurs assume people won’t read more than a page or two at most. The fact is that long letters generally pull better than short ones — if you:
Grab the reader’s attention