Writing That Works, 3e_ How to Communicate Effectively in Business - Kenneth Roman [6]
Jargon Down-to-earth English
It is believed that with the parameters that have been imposed by your management, a viable program may be hard to evolve. Net net: If our program is to impact the consumer to the optimum, meaningful interface with your management may be necessitated. We believe that the limits your management set may rule out an effective program. If we expect to reach our goal, we’d better ask your management to listen to our case.
The kind of writing on the left is long-winded and heavy-handed. It is what E. B. White calls “the language of mutilation” — it mutilates your meaning. The language on the right is clear and direct. It illuminates your meaning.
6. Be specific
A fatal weakness in much business writing is the overuse of generalities. The writer has something specific in mind, but doesn’t actually write it. The reader is left to guess. Friendly readers may guess sympathetically, but a neutral or skeptical reader will remain uninformed, unimpressed, and unpersuaded.
The first draft of a letter reporting to financial backers on a series of educational seminars in Wyoming said:
Our adult program was a great success. We attracted more students from more places than ever before.
The reader, not knowing whether the increase in students was one or a hundred and lacking any other specific information, must take the generalized claim of success on faith. When rewritten, the letter said:
Our enrollment doubled to 560. Students came from Wyoming and twenty-seven other states, and from Germany and Canada.
There can now be no doubt about the success of the program. The specifics speak for themselves.
7. Choose the right word
Know the precise meaning of every word you use. Here are some words that many people confuse:
To affect something is to have an influence on it:The new program affects only the clerical staff. Effect can mean a result (noun) or to bring about (verb): The effect of the new program on the morale of the drivers will be zero; it effects no change outside the clerical staff.
It’s is the contraction of “it is.” It’s vital that profits keep growing. Its is the possessive form of “it.” No apostrophe. Its profits grow year after year. A bit of doggerel may help: “Sin must prosper or it’s bored, while virtue is its own reward.”
i.e. (id est) means “that is”: He preferred short names; i.e., nothing longer than four letters. e.g. (exempli gratia) means “for example”: He gave all his products short names; e.g., Hit, Miss, Duck, Dive.
Principal is the first in rank or importance: Our principal problem is lack of cash flow. Principle is a guiding rule: Our principle is to use our own money rather than to borrow.
Imply means to suggest indirectly: Her report implies that she will soon promote her assistant. Infer means to draw meaning out of something: The assistant infers from her report that he will soon be promoted.
Mitigate means to lessen in force or intensity: She mitigated the bad news by giving everybody the afternoon off. Militate means to have force as evidence usually in a case against something: The bad news militates against an early end to the raise freeze.
Gratuitous means unasked for, excessive: He had done his job to perfection for years. The advice from the newcomer was gratuitous. Grateful, gratitude. You know what these words mean. The point here is that they have no connection with gratuitous.
Foreword. Something that comes first. A preface. Forward. Moving ahead, as in forward, march!
Appraise means to measure, to assess the value or nature of something: The general appraised the enemy’s strength before ordering the attack. Apprise means to inform in detail: The chief of staff apprised the colonels of the general’s appraisal of the situation.
Fortunate means favored by good fortune — lucky. Fortuitous means happening by chance, accidental. Being seated next to his ex-wife was fortuitous — but hardly fortunate.
Alternate (verb) means to go back and forth from one to another: The coach alternated between