Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [128]
When I was pregnant with you, a very dear friend of mine offered to help me get an abortion. This was in 1970, when abortions were still illegal. I thought about it for a very long time before I decided that was not what I wanted to do. Something inside of me knew I would make it, no matter what, and you would make it. When I looked in your little face, I knew I had made the right decision. You were a beautiful baby. You were never any trouble. You grew into a beautiful child who was not difficult to love or take care of. You are now a beautiful man. You are strong. You are healthy. You are a master! I was once ashamed to say, “My son is in jail.” I would lie about it and tell people you were away with your wife, who is in the navy. Now I want the world to know, because I know you are healing. As you heal, a part of me heals. When I think about it, I was in the prison of needing to be loved for most of my life. Now I know I am loved and that God loves me. I also know God loves you, Damon, even when your wife isn’t sure she does.
There are many types of jails. Some people are in the jails of their limited minds. Many people are in the jail of drinking alcohol, taking drugs, working on a job they hate, or living in bad relationships. We are all doing some kind of time. The only difference is that some of us have keys to our cells and others do not. Nobody but you can imprison your mind. Nobody can imprison your spirit. My son was born of the Master, and nobody who makes a deal with the Master can lose!
I love you.
I support you.
I pray for your highest and your best.
I am Iyanla, your Great Mother.
Speaking engagements were coming in, I was still seeing a few clients, I had financial support from the ministry, but I still had money woes. Gemmia decided that she didn’t like college and wanted to come home and work. That was a big help. I talked to Balé about the conflict I was having about doing spiritual work and getting paid for it. He told me to start thinking about what I was doing as a business and to charge accordingly. He wasn’t speaking about the consultations; he was referring to speaking and writing. I would speak for fifty or a hundred dollars. I would speak for free if I were asked. Balé reminded me that I was a lawyer and a priest and had a right to charge people for my training and my skills. He asked me one of those questions that cause my brain to fry: “How much do you think you are worth? How much is an hour of your time worth?”
“I don’t know. What do you mean?”
“I mean that people are going to treat you according to the value you place on yourself. If you come cheap, they will treat you cheap.”
“But Balé, how can I say I am doing spiritual work and charge people lots of money for it?”
“Gravediggers do spiritual work. They create the space that houses the body that the spirit lives in, and they make a lot of money for an hour’s worth of work. If you do not see the business aspect of this, you are never going to reach the place you are trying to get to.” It was time to go back to the list.
What do you want to do? I want to earn a living speaking and writing.