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“Balé, I have no idea what you are talking about. How could I know if I am ready or not?”

“If you would stop being so snippy and take a deep breath, you would know that you are ready.” Now he was pissed. I did what he said.

“Yes, I am ready to pursue my destiny.” That was an interesting response, I thought to myself.

“Iyanla. Your name is Iyanla. It is really not a name at all. It is a title. It is a title of greatness. The translation of Iyanla is ‘great mother.’ Back home in Nigeria, the Iyanla is the king’s mother. She is a woman of great prominence and stature. She is the wise woman. She is the one all women look to and aspire to be, but cannot be. Iyanlas are ordained by birth. They come from God. It is God who has etched greatness into their souls. All of us want to be great. Iyanla is born that way. Her job in life is to remember her true identity. The ‘great mother’ teaches and guides the people. She heals the sick. It is even said in some circles that only the Iyanla can raise the living dead. Not the dead, but the living dead, because she knows the secrets of life and living. Iyanla is the proverbial Psalm 31 woman. I know you have not read Psalm 31, but you will.

“Iyanla is a woman of moral character and purity of heart. She is the one who is written about in Surah 19 of the Holy Qur’an. She is the essence of Ch’ien and the K’un of which the I Ching teaches. She is primal power. That which is light giving, active, and strong, because she is born of the Spirit. She is the receptivity of the earth that gives birth to all things new. Iyanla, the ‘great mother,’ is the grace, mercy, and goodness of God that resides in the hearts of all men. Her presence teaches about the goodness of God. She moves gracefully because she knows God. Those who know God do not pursue greatness. Those who know they are already great grow through the strength and grace of Iyanla. This is the potential, the purpose, that God has placed in your soul. My question is, Are you ready?”

My mouth was dry. My palms were sweating. My head was spinning. I could not open my mouth. Balé detected that I was about to throw up on his beautiful mat. “Put your head down. Breathe and put your head down.” Then he continued. “Build your character, Iyanla. Seek the truth and speak the truth. Learn all that you can about teaching and healing. Learn all that you can about mercy and grace. Learn all that you can about God, because God and the high Spirits of God are the only friends you have. People are going to challenge you. Iyanla is welcomed by all, but feared and despised by many. When you know, do not be afraid to say you know. When you do not know, say so. You will be shown what to do. You will be told what to say. Only if you build yourself on the strength of good character will you be able to receive the answers you need. Know who you are. You are no longer Rhonda. She is dead. You can no longer live the way Rhonda lived. The questions you must answer now for yourself are: Who are you? and What do you want to do?”

Balé made us a cup of tea. I was completely overwhelmed. Excited, but overwhelmed. Never in my life had anyone given me such hope. I would never have connected myself to any of the things he had said. Whether I was right or wrong, good or bad—these ideas were about as close as I had ever come to his description of me.

“How?” I kept asking him. “How am I supposed to do that? To become that?”

“You are that already. Your name is your nature.” Balé explained that he had asked for sixteen other names. He did not get a confirmation until he asked for Iyanla. Realizing that the excitement had made me bold, Balé listened patiently to my questions.

“Suppose you made a mistake? How do you know you didn’t make a mistake?”

“That is your fear talking. That is self-doubt and fear. How many mistakes have I made in the past?” We both knew the answer.

Again, I felt overwhelmed. Balé had asked me such simple questions. They were