Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [51]
When Rhonda’s mind returned, she found herself upstairs, sitting in a bathtub of warm water. She was bleeding, and her head ached. Her eyes stung, and her face felt hot and flushed. Her legs and feet, her hands and fingers, were sore and tender. Her mind was numb. Her heart was cold. How did she get upstairs? Had she really tried to call Nett? Did Ray actually kick her out of his room when she tried to tell him what happened? Her torn blouse was in the bathroom sink and smelled of vomit and vinegar. She vaguely remembered crawling under the kitchen table, then throwing up and having to clean the kitchen floor. She must have let Baby in the house, because the cat now sat beside the tub, peering up at her.
She was still bleeding when she put on fresh clothes and sat on the edge of the bed, holding the cat. Rhonda was in a state of shock and oblivious to the hot tears that fell from the outside corners of her eyes as she sat and stared and waited for Aunt Nadine to come home.
If people don’t ask you how you feel, what you think, what you want, or what you know, there is no way they can know who you are. When people don’t know who you are, they mistakenly believe they can do anything they want to you. And they will do it, if they don’t know. When that happens, it is up to you to take a stand for yourself. It is up to you to let them know what you need. It is up to you to tell them what you think. It is up to you to let them know that you don’t know what they think you know. At all times, under all circumstances, every individual must shoulder full responsibility for telling other people exactly how they feel, what they need, what they know, and who they are. If, however, you are an eleven-year-old child, chances are you haven’t learned how to do that yet. If you haven’t, and the people around you don’t realize it, you are in grave danger of being misunderstood. Rhonda was learning the dangers of being misunderstood.
Rhonda had no idea how much time had passed when the front door opened and Aunt Nadine strolled into the house and announced that she had won $250. Still clutching Baby to her chest, Rhonda somehow found the words to tell Aunt Nadine exactly what had happened. Aunt Nadine stared at her in disbelief for a very long time. Then she turned on her heel and headed for the basement. Rhonda, with Baby, moved into the kitchen and sat down until Aunt Nadine called her. She put Baby down and descended the stairs slowly, painfully.
“Tell him what you told me,” Aunt Nadine demanded. Uncle Leroy was sitting precariously on one of the bar stools, trying to maintain some semblance of sobriety, but he looked guilty as hell under Aunt Nadine’s angry stare. A greasy piece of pork clung to the front of his shirt. Rhonda looked from Aunt Nadine to the empty liquor bottles on the bar. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him looking at her. She stared at the floor between his shoeless feet, then at her own shoes before finding the courage to repeat the accusation.
“That’s a bold-faced lie!” Uncle Leroy jumped to his feet and pointed an intimidating finger in Rhonda’s direction. “I didn’t hurt her,” he slurred. “I didn’t even penetrate her.” Aunt Nadine never took her eyes off Uncle Leroy. She listened to Rhonda’s tearful declaration that she didn’t know what “penetrate” meant, but that, yes, he had definitely hurt her. Aunt Nadine’s stony glare reflected her anger and disgust. She didn’t say a word, and shards of silence hung in the space between her and Uncle Leroy. Rhonda waited for the blow that was surely about to be dealt. The piece of pig’s foot left an oily stain as it slid down Uncle Leroy’s shirt and fell quietly to the floor.
“Go to your room, Rhonda,” Aunt Nadine said without altering her gaze. “You go on and go to bed now.” Aunt Nadine’s voice was cold as ice.
Rhonda lay on her bed and listened to the silence that shouldn’t have been there. Yet there was a silence and stillness throughout the house. There was silence where there should have been yelling. There was silence where there should have