Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [61]
Rhonda and Nett had developed a morning routine. Nett would get up every morning, put on the coffee, and take her shower. When she came out of the bathroom, Rhonda would take her shower. By the time Rhonda was dressed, the coffee would be poured and waiting. She and Nett would sit at the kitchen table and talk and laugh together before they went off to work and school. They used this time to discuss everything and everybody. Nett shared what was going on at her job, and Rhonda told Nett about school. They prepared the grocery list and decided who would pick up what. They talked about boys and clothes and what they’d seen on television.
One morning over coffee, Nett set her cup down on the table and looked Rhonda squarely in the eyes.
“You’re pregnant again, aren’t you?” Nett said. “I can see it in your eyes; I can see it all over you.” Rhonda’s eyes started to well up with tears, but she held them back, refusing to cry. “Who is it?” Nett asked. “Is it that guy that calls here so late?”
“If I am, he is,” Rhonda said, the tears beginning to fall.
Nett took a sip of her coffee and continued.
“Ronnie, Ronnie. You can’t keep having babies. I know you want a family and somebody to love you. I know how hard it’s been for you growing up, but having a baby is only going to make it harder. You have to finish school. You are going to be somebody one day, and having a baby is going to make that harder, too.”
This was their private talking time, so Rhonda spoke up. She told Nett that Gary hardly spoke to her anymore, that he was avoiding her at school and not calling her at home anymore. Nett was furious. First with Rhonda, but mostly with Gary.
“Does he have a father? Does he have a mother? Does he have a telephone number?” Nett took the number and called Gary’s house. When Gary’s father answered, Nett informed him that her daughter was pregnant by his son. She suggested a meeting to discuss plans for support of the child. Gary’s father said he would discuss the matter with his son and get back to her. (It was three weeks after the baby was born when he called back.)
The next day at school, Gary materialized long enough to tell Rhonda he was mad at her for telling. For the remaining months of her pregnancy, Rhonda was angry. She was angry with herself and angry with Gary. She felt alone, unwanted, and ashamed. Gary would ignore her if their paths crossed at school, but one day when no one was around, he winked at her, then tried to touch her swollen belly. Rhonda spit in his face and ran away.
Damon was a beautiful baby boy. He had a tendency to choke but was otherwise normal and healthy. He offered Nett and Rhonda a new lease on life. “Babies take your mind off the things that don’t matter,” Nett said. “They give you something more to live for.” Nett liked being called Nana. She was delighted with Damon and overly protective. Rhonda was happy, but confused and afraid. The day that Damon turned three weeks old, Rhonda was standing over the crib, staring at her baby son, trying to figure out whether she was happy, confused, or afraid, when she noticed that Damon’s little body was turning blue. When she touched him, he was cold and rigid. She snatched him out of the crib and held him to her breast. “Please, God!” she screamed. “Not again! Please!” Nett’s reaction to Rhonda’s screaming was to run. She ran out of the apartment, down the stairs, and out onto the street. The superintendent of the apartment building also heard the scream and called an ambulance.
As Rhonda sat