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“Do you hear voices? Do the voices tell you to hurt yourself?” Rhonda lied. She did hear voices, just not the kind he was talking about.

“No, Dr. Miller. I do not hear voices or see lights or eat invisible bugs.”

“Are you angry?”

“No! And I am not crazy, either.” The old feisty Rhonda was back.

“What do you want to do when you leave here, Rhonda?”

“Why? Does it matter?” she shot back at him.

“Of course it matters. You are young and beautiful. You have three children to raise. You matter, Rhonda, and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you don’t.” His words were so gentle and sincere, Rhonda knew that he meant what he was saying.

“I want to find myself, my real self. And I want to raise my children in a better way than I was raised.”

“Both of these things matter,” Dr. Miller said, “they matter a lot.”

Rhonda didn’t know how she knew, but she knew that Dr. Miller had just given her the answer to her prayers. Find your real self and raise your children in a different way. Not just different. Better. When she stood up, Dr. Miller was in the middle of a sentence. She stared at him for several seconds before saying calmly, “Thank you, Dr. Miller,” and leaving the room. Three days later, he discharged her from the hospital.

Thank goodness for people who change their minds. Gary had paid the rent on Rhonda’s old apartment, preventing the landlord from throwing her belongings out on the curb. When she arrived at her apartment, she found Lady, the dog, standing at the door. You could see her ribs through the matted, gray coat. It looked as if she had not eaten since Rhonda left. The apartment had a foul odor. All of the utility services had been disconnected. There was no sign that John had been there. The sight, the smell, the awesomeness of the task before her, weakened Rhonda’s knees. Her mind felt cloudy again. Before the first tear rolled down her cheek, a voice filled her mind and the room. Stop! Do not be afraid. Do not panic. You will be shown what to do. You will be told what to say. Rhonda froze. She had already lost her mind, then found a piece of it again. Was she losing it again? Feed Lady and go to your mother-in-law’s house. John and your baby will be there. Without questioning what she was hearing, she left the apartment.

It seemed like only a matter of minutes had passed before Rhonda found herself standing ten miles away on the other side of town, ringing Mildred’s doorbell. When she opened the door, Rhonda stepped inside quickly, just in case Mildred tried to keep her out. “When did you get out of the loony bin?” Mildred said snidely. Rhonda walked inside the house without responding. She went directly into the living room. Neither John nor Nisa was there, but she knew her spirit had not misled her. Mildred followed her, mumbling about b——s and crazy people. There was no sign of John or the baby. When Rhonda spun around without saying a word, Mildred jumped. She really must have thought Rhonda was crazy. Rhonda knew she wasn’t. For the first time in her life, she was standing up for herself. She would not cry or run away. She meant business, and somehow, Mildred knew it, too.

“He ain’t here,” Mildred said before Rhonda could ask the question. Rhonda stared directly into Mildred’s eyes and spoke so calmly it was frightening.

“Call him. Tell him I’m here and I want to see my baby.” Mildred could sense Rhonda’s new resolve and moved quickly to the telephone to make the call. Rhonda’s eyes never left her as she talked. Once she hung up, Rhonda left her standing there, walked into the living room, and sat down in a ragged, overstuffed chair.

Rhonda sat without moving a muscle, her back erect. She never opened her mouth. She stared at the wall and remembered the promises she had made to her children in the letters she wrote. She sat there for thirty minutes, waiting for John to arrive. It made Mildred very nervous.

In the middle of a thought, Rhonda felt something move through her body. It seemed as if a light were covering her. Again she heard the voice. Dr. Miller