Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [83]
At two o’clock in the morning, Rhonda heard John’s footsteps outside the apartment door. She heard him insert the key into the lock and saw the knob slowly begin to turn. Quickly she was on her feet and relocked the door. John inserted the key again and unlocked the door. Rhonda locked it again. John unlocked it and, this time, gave the door a push, but the chain held, and he couldn’t get inside. He stood in the hallway, yelling obscenities at Rhonda, who kept insisting that he leave her alone. The only thing that separated an outraged John from a frightened but determined Rhonda was the little silver chain, and Rhonda didn’t know how long it would hold against John’s weight. She picked up the knife from the floor and jabbed it through the door opening as hard as she could. She felt the knife make contact. She heard John scream and stumble against the hallway wall, then fall to the floor. After a few minutes, she heard him stumbling down the stairs, cursing and moaning in pain. Rhonda went to the window and looked outside. A patrol car had pulled up in front of the building, and the officers were questioning John, who had slumped to the ground. His blood was brilliant against the snow.
John spent two weeks in the hospital. The doctors said the knife missed his heart by only an inch. When John was released from the hospital, he came looking for Rhonda. He stood outside their window and yelled up at her. He called her every filthy name he could think of, and he yelled it at the top of his lungs.
When you make up your mind to take a stand, forces from out of nowhere will appear to support you. On the second night of John’s verbal abuse, an angel appeared in the form of Mr. Johnson, Rhonda’s next-door neighbor. In all the time she’d lived there, she and Mr. Johnson had barely spoken two words, but he was always cordial when they passed in the hallway. Mr. Johnson left his apartment, went down the stairs and outside to the street, where John was standing beneath Rhonda’s window, screaming obscenities at her. Mr. Johnson pulled a gun from his coat and put the muzzle to John’s head.
“I don’t know your wife very well, but every time I see her, she’s pleasant. The children are always clean and well behaved, and she don’t seem to bother nobody.” John held perfectly still. “You, on the other hand, Mr. Whatever-your-name-is, are a disgrace to the race. So I’ll tell you what—if I ever see you around here again bothering that woman or her children, I’m gonna blow your f———g head off.”
With that, Mr. Johnson put his gun back inside his coat and went inside, out of the cold.
CHAPTER TWELVE
What’s the Lesson When You Begin to Recognize Yourself as Who You Really Are?
Do not be afraid to look within. The ego tells you all is black with guilt within you, and bids you not to look. Instead, it bids you to look upon your brothers, and see the guilt in them. Yet this you cannot do without remaining blind.
A Course in Miracles
SATURDAY AFTERNOON TEA with my husband is always nice. Today it was especially nurturing and comforting. I thanked him and told him what a blessing he is in my life, then let him get back to his television program. I headed for the showers.
The hot, pulsating water of the shower beating on my back was exquisite. Hot water and black-walnut soap will wash away the shadows that haunt you. I could feel the memories being washed away as I recited the lessons in my mind. If you stay too long in pain, you will get S.O.S. Stuck on Stupid. I chuckled to myself. Rhonda had been stuck on stupid