Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [9]
When Grandma said that God never gives you more than you can bear, she was saying that all the tears you need to grow, all the tears you need to cleanse, all the tears you need to share are available. Do the crying. Do the healing. And do the growing so that you can be all and celebrate all that God created you to be. That’s what this story is about, and that’s why this book had to be written.
Even as I write, I cry. I cry when I think about what people will say about me, what people will think of me. But because my tears now flow freely, with understanding, I am willing to take the chance. I know that I cannot lose. If this book, this story, these tears can help somebody, then I know that all I have lived through has not been in vain. I pray that as you read this book you will find the courage to cry and the understanding of why you’re crying. I pray that you find the lessons beneath the tears, and the ability to love yourself no matter what, and in spite of it all. I pray that tomorrow your tears will wash away the fear or shame or sadness that has prevented you from telling your story.
Yesterday, I cried for the woman that I wanted to be. Today, I cry in celebration of her birth. Yesterday, I cried for the little girl in me who was not loved or wanted. Today, I cry as she dances around my heart in celebration of herself. I pray that your yesterday tears will be wiped, that you will find the courage to celebrate yourself and the lessons you have lived through, grown through, and learned through. The lessons that have brought you to a deeper realization of yourself, of the child within you, and of the constant mercy and grace of God. Now, let’s have a party and enjoy!
CHAPTER ONE
What’s the Lesson When You Think You Figured Out the Lesson, and You Really Haven’t?
Pain is a wrong perspective. When it is experienced in any form, it is proof of self-deception. It is not a fact at all. There is no form it takes that will not disappear if seen aright.
A Course in Miracles
DOES IT EVER STOP? Does the crap ever stop? Does it ever get to the point where everything in your life is going great at the same time, for any length of time? Does there ever come a day when the warm, sunny days come more frequently and last longer than the blistering, cold nights? I once thought that if I had the man of my dreams and the love of my life, all would be well. WRONG! I also thought that if I had money, not a lot of money, just enough to pay the bills on time and have a little bit of change left over, things would be just great. NOPE! Then I figured if I could identify the career of my dreams, and be fully and happily engaged in that career, I would be flying high. WRONG AGAIN! Now, after overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles, weathering devastating disasters, moving through mind-boggling challenges, and after watching myself on a national television program, I had finally figured life out.
As I lay in my Jacuzzi, watching my thousand-dollar dog poop on my carpet, I finally got it! Life is about cleaning up the crap and, while you’re doing it, being okay with the fact that you have to do it.
I haven’t always had such deeply profound insights about life or the process of living. Like most of the world, I thought life was about doing better than you were doing at any given moment. Doing more, I believed, would result in your having more, which would result in your feeling better. I thought this was the total essence of living. Of course, I didn’t come up with this life philosophy on my own. I was taught to think and feel this way by most of the adults who have influenced my life. I have been taught this by every television commercial I have ever seen; by schoolteachers and college professors who