Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [90]
They were sitting at the kitchen table, discussing the Stevie Wonder concert they had just attended. Eddie was smoking and drinking rum. Rhonda got up and stretched. She was tired and ready to go to bed. Eddie announced that he was leaving and that he was not coming back.
“Where are you going?” Rhonda asked him.
“Home,” Eddie answered.
“What do you mean you won’t be back?”
“I’m not going to see you anymore. This is it for me.”
“What?”
“I’m ready to move on, to settle down. I’ve always told you that this is not what I want for myself. I think I’m ready to get married.”
“To whom?”
“I don’t know yet, but I’m ready.”
“Well, okay. If that’s what you want.”
Rhonda heard it, but she didn’t believe it. When Eddie didn’t call her for three days, she began to think he was serious. She started frantically calling his house, his mother’s house, and Dial-A-Prayer. She elicited the help of friends to watch his house so she’d know of all his comings and goings. But she still did not believe that he was serious. It took about two more weeks for her to get it. When she did, she sent the children to Daddy’s house, pulled the shades down, got in her bed, and stayed there for a week.
On the day she finally got out of bed, Rhonda got dressed and went directly to Eddie’s house. When he opened the door, she didn’t know what to say. They made small talk for a few minutes, and then Rhonda asked if she could come in.
“This isn’t a good time,” Eddie said. “I’ve got company.”
“What does that mean?” Rhonda asked.
“I have someone upstairs.”
“I don’t care! I need to talk to you.”
She stepped quickly to the side, darted past Eddie, and headed up the stairs to his apartment. When she got inside, Rhonda couldn’t believe her eyes. The woman standing in the middle of his living room had her same haircut, size, and height. The woman ran into the bathroom and shut the door. Rhonda sat down, and Eddie offered her something to drink.
“Is that your wife?” Rhonda asked.
“No,” Eddie said, “she’s just a friend.”
“What are you doing? Please help me to understand just what it is you think you are doing.”
“What do you want me to say? I’ve been telling you the same thing for the past four years. I don’t want a ready-made family. It’s not you. It’s not the kids. It’s me. It’s just not what I want.”
Rhonda sat there, letting the words sink in. The other woman crept out of the bathroom and asked permission to use the telephone. When she finished her call, she said to Rhonda, “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. This is not about you,” Rhonda told her. “This is about learning how much of myself I’m willing to give up for somebody to love me. I thank you for being here.”
The next time Rhonda saw Eddie was when he visited her in Philadelphia, where she’d moved to practice law.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
What’s the Lesson When You Lose Someone You Really Love?
There is a place in you where there is perfect peace. There is a place in you where nothing is impossible.
A Course in Miracles
THE FACE OF THE WOMAN sitting across the table had become grossly distorted. Even in the semidarkness, Rhonda could see that. Her voice had changed, too. She was speaking, she said, in the voice of Nett’s mother, Ivy Brown.
“I do not want her to suffer,” the voice said. “I want her to rest.”
“Can you make her better?” Rhonda asked, unsure of what she was seeing and hearing.
“If you will place a slice of bread, a glass of water, and a piece of purple cloth on a table for me, I will make sure that she does not suffer.” Rhonda agreed to do it.
The woman speaking was a spiritualist. Rhonda had learned a great deal about spirits and the people who talked to them. She had gone to one to find out the real reason for Eddie’s departure. She had gone to one for a lucky number to make the money she needed to start law school on time. She had read books about them, and she had called them on the telephone. Now she sat across from a spiritualist who was telling her what to do to help Nett get well.