You Are Not a Stranger Here - Adam Haslett [59]
—Wendell Oliver Lippman.
—Thank you. Now, Mr. Lippman, you have come here to participate in some groundbreaking research. What you say here today could alter the daily lives of millions of your fellow citizens. I don’t want to sound overly serious, but you need to understand you are sitting now at a kind of apex, an unparalleled position of influence, one you may never again attain in your life, a chance to shape the future of a nation by opening a window into the souls of its young men. Do you feel ready for this responsibility?
—I guess so. I mean, I just met Al the other day, at the park.
—Mr. Lippman, you must understand. In this instance Mr. Turpin is only a conduit through whom you have come to me. Your association with him is an empirical necessity but otherwise entirely irrelevant. This study is interested in you qua you, not you qua friend of Al. Is that clear?
—What does “qua” mean?
—Mr. Lippman, is it your impression that I am conducting this interview, or is it rather your impression that you are conducting this interview?
—You, I guess.
—That is correct, Mr. Lippman, that is correct.
—Look, man, I mean, Al just said I should come over sometime ’cause, you know, we could talk about God and stuff like that, which is cool and all, but . . . I was just coming by to pick up some weed.
—For the record, I am now granting myself permission to treat the subject as hostile.
—What?
—State the titles and authors of the books you have read in the last five years.
—All of them?
—Yes, Mr. Lippman, all of them.
—You’re fucking intense.
—Are we done now with the editorial comment?
—Yeah.
—Good. So you’ve read what, exactly?
—Well, I checked this thing out on the Gulf War, about how, like, there was all this information about it, but not really any analysis, and that was sort of a new thing.
—Could you state for the record your level of education?
—I go to college.
—Right. Passing on the book question for now, perhaps you could tell us something about your interest in philosophy and how it began. You do have an interest in philosophy, correct?
—Sure.
—All right. Tell us how it got started.
—Well, the first time I got high—
5. Interview with Carl de Hooten
—We’re talking here this afternoon with Carl de Hooten . . . who is twenty-seven years old and a resident of western Somerville. Mr. de Hooten—
—Carl’s fine.
—All right. Carl is a—how did you describe it?
—A freelance graduate student.
—A freelance grad student. Meaning?
—I’m affiliated with a number of departments.
—He is a graduate of SUNY Oswego, where he studied philosophy. So, Carl, tell us something about your initial interest in the field.
—Where I lived as a child, a neighboring girl began a lemonade stand, her plan being to sell to passersby. My mother decided that I ought to participate in this venture, a sentiment which I later concluded derived from her conviction that I did not leave the house frequently enough. I fought her suggestion tooth and nail, having no interest in hawking some sugar drink to the locals. My mother persisted, however, going as far as to contact the girl’s parents and negotiate my inclusion. I was told to go and sit by the girl at the table—to go and have fun. It was through the experience of sitting beside this girl—Verena was her name—that I became interested in artificial intelligence. In front of the table, Verena had hung a sign which announced the price of a lemonade at twenty cents. The interesting thing, however, was that despite the sign she charged different customers different prices. If her friend Judy came by, for instance,