You Can Write Poetry - Jeff Mock [18]
In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the death-bed whereon it must expire,
Consum'd with that which it was nourish'd by,
This thou perceiv'st, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.
This poem presents an eternal theme, carpe diem, Latin for seize the day. Through its concrete-specific terms, the poem creates images that suggest the shortness of time. The "yellow leaves" and the boughs that "shake against the cold" show the season. The birds have migrated. Winter is blowing in. It's twilight, "after sunset fadeth in the west," and the "black night doth take away" the last of the light. The fire, where "the ashes of his youth doth lie," has burned to embers (notice the metaphor "ashes of his youth") and is "Consum'd with that which it was nourish'd by." The wood that fed the fire is now the ash that extinguishes it.
In its images Sonnet 73 presents the depletion of energy and life. It goes on to state that the shortness of time makes us love more those things and people we will eventually lose. Carpe diem, seize the day, make good use of time, value what we have—that's what the poem tells us. The final urging of the poem, "To love that well which thou must leave ere long," wouldn't be as powerful without the images that precede it. We see the barren tree. We feel the cold wind that shakes its branches. We see the sun set and feel the fire lose warmth. The concrete-specific terms show us that time is short, that while we can, we must love what remains.
Most poems use both abstract-general and concrete-specific terms. It's a balancing act, but not an even one. Have your poems represent the world and its objects in concrete and specific detail. Let the reader see, hear, smell, taste and touch your poems. Appeal to the senses and the reader's attention will follow your poem wherever it leads.
PRACTICE SESSION
1. Make a list of five general terms, such as tree, machine, clothing, reptile and food. For each general word, list five specific terms (it may help to consult a thesaurus). Write a draft using one of these lists. Repeat this exercise as you like.
2. Make a list of five abstract terms, such as liberty, good, strange, sorrow and pride. For each abstract term, list five concrete examples (for liberty, you may have a dog off its leash, running in the park). Write a draft using one of these lists. Repeat this exercise as you like.
Touring the Grounds: Imagery
As I work on a draft of a poem, I pause and take it to Joan. After many years of many poems, and the numerous drafts of each, she's become an astute reader and critic. She tells me honestly what she thinks. Sometimes she tells me what I don't want to hear—that a draft isn't good. While that's disappointing to hear, it's also useful. We all need good readers and critics who point out the strengths and weaknesses of a draft. Joan is my main reader. She knows what she likes and dislikes. She's honest. I listen to her, trust her instincts and often take her suggestions. I work on the lines of the draft that she thinks weakest. One thing Joan values in poems is their appeal to her senses. She likes poems she can see and hear and feel. She likes the sights, sounds and textures of a poem. She dislikes unwieldy abstractions, poems full of abstract-general terms. They don't give rise to emotions. They're too large and amorphous. Images, on the other hand, give rise to emotions by presenting real things-in-words that she responds to.
What Joan responds to is the imagery, not the statement. Statements tell about things, but they're flat and not very interesting. He loves her tells us something, but not much. If he kneels before her and takes her hand in his, that shows us more. It presents tactile information. It shows us a tender moment, an act of submission, a caress. It's an image we respond to because we witness it.
Images allow the reader to witness the world of the poem clearly and sharply. They show the world in specific, particular detail. An image begins