You Deserve Nothing - Alexander Maksik [40]
Ariel, obviously sharing none of Abdul’s conviction, looked out the window. Hala dramatically dropped her head into her hands. And Gilad, quiet Gilad, turned to Abdul and asked very simply, “What?”
Abdul looked so meek and frightened. It took such energy for him to make his proclamations, yet he couldn’t seem to help himself, as if he were afraid he’d be punished for being silent.
“Yeah,” he said, nearly whispering. “Everything happens for a reason. It’s, just, it’s, um, it’s what I said. God’s plan.” He scratched the back of his hand.
“I was there.” Gilad looked up at me. “We were both there. Yesterday, we were on that platform. I was there with Mr. Silver. We saw the guy get pushed. I watched him die. I watched him get smashed by that train. I saw that man push him. I saw it. And you’re saying that God was punishing him for, for what? For something he’d done? That there was some reason? That God has a plan? That this was part of his plan? Abdul, it could have been Mr. Silver. Do you understand that?”
Abdul looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath, “Yes. It wasn’t. You saw it. It was part of his plan.”
Gilad shook his head.
“Dude, Mr. Silver,” Lily said, “you guys saw that yesterday? That’s fucked up. Sorry.”
Aldo snorted, caught Lily’s glare, and went immediately silent.
“Yes, that’s why Gilad and I weren’t in school yesterday. And that’s why, in part, I brought in the article. Everything we’ve discussed so far, even the question of choice, is relevant to the text you read over the weekend. If you’ll take a look at the board, you’ll see God’s first question to Job and his subsequent command, ‘Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Declare, if thou hast understanding.’ Everything that’s happened to Job—God’s seemingly cruel and random acts—simply can’t be understood by any man, not Job’s friends, not his wife and not Job. What’s God’s point, Abdul, when he asks ‘Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?’”
Abdul looked up at me, concerned. “That we can’t really understand God?”
“Good. And? Ariel?”
She let out a breath—this was the second time she’d been brought into the same world as Abdul. “And he’s saying that if you weren’t around when he made the world, then, like, you can’t possibly understand what God does now. So, just give up trying and accept God. And that’s totally what we should do. God has his reasons. We can’t understand them. We just have to trust him no matter what. I mean I’m sorry that Job had all those shitty things happen to him but God had his reasons. And in the end he’s better off than he started. So what’s the big deal?”
“And all the children starving to death in the world? And the girls who are raped on their way to school? And the ten year old who is hit by a drunk driver? That’s all God’s plan?” Jane was trembling.
Abdul was nodding. Ariel turned coolly to Jane, smiled and said, “That’s right,” as if it were her plan not God’s.
“O.K.,” I said. “O.K.”
After the bell rang and everyone else had left Gilad was still sitting at his desk.
“You O.K.?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“Well come by if you want to talk, all right? I have a meeting now but I’m free later so . . . ”
“You?” He interrupted me.
“Are you O.K.?” His face flushed. “I mean I’m sure you are,” he said collecting his things and stuffing them quickly into his backpack.
“Yes. But thank you. Thank you for asking. It was hard to sleep last night. I woke up very early. But I’m fine. I’m fine.”
He smiled at me, hoisted his pack over his shoulder and ducked out of the room.
* * *
I had an appointment to see the head of the school, Laetitia Moore, at ten-thirty and as I arrived she was walking the chairman of the board of trustees into the hallway.
“Always a pleasure to spend an hour together, Laetitia,” he said smiling at her. Turning to leave he saw me, paused for a moment while his face fell from warm flatterer to cold businessman, and left.
She ushered me in and I sat down.
“So, Will. I understand that you didn’t come to work yesterday. Is that right?”
I nodded.