You Deserve Nothing - Alexander Maksik [67]
As I was returning from the cafeteria I saw Mazin reading on the grass in front of the upper school.
“What’s up Maz?”
“Hey,” he said and went back to his book.
“You doing O.K.?”
He nodded, keeping his eyes on the page.
“What’s wrong, Maz?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Just work.”
“Is there something bothering you?”
“Nope.”
“O.K.,” I said, looking down at him. But he ignored me and I left.
* * *
Later, when I returned to the English department Mia was sitting at her desk with Steven Connor.
“Hi guys.”
“What up, Silver?”
Mia smiled at me.
“What’d you do this time?” I asked.
“Nothing, man. Have some faith. I’m trying to improve myself. Ms. Keller’s almost as hard as you were.”
I sat down at my desk. “Oh, I promise you she’s much harder, Esteban. Much harder. She actually knows what she’s talking about. She has lesson plans. I don’t even read half the books I teach. Pay attention. This year you could actually learn something.”
“O.K., O.K., Steven, back to work.” She rolled her eyes at me and tapped the paper with her pen.
I pulled an essay from a pile and began to read.
“You need to focus your thesis, Steven. Make it more precise. ‘Stephen Dedalus and Hamlet are similar for several reasons’ is too vague.”
“You think?” I said not looking up.
“Dude, you would have loved this essay.”
“Not with that thesis, Esteban. Please.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Ignore him. How can we focus this? Are you sure you believe it? Are they really similar?”
“Well, he makes a bunch of references to Hamlet in the book.”
“The novel. O.K. Are you sure? And do those references immediately make the two characters similar? And what’s another word for reference? Something a bit more literary?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what she means, Esteban.” I turned in my chair and looked at him. “If you can’t answer Ms. Keller’s question I’m jumping out the window. And I have more willpower than that candy-ass Hamlet.”
“He’ll do it, Steven,” Mia said, looking at me and laughing.
I opened the window.
Steven held his head in his hands. “References. References.”
I pulled myself up and sat on the edge of the window frame. “I’m going. After all the work we did last year? This is how I’m repaid? With references? References, Esteban? Why don’t you just spit in my face?”
“Allusions!” He yelled.
“Good,” Mia said.
I dropped down to the floor and went back to my desk.
“Allusions, Mr. Silver, allusions!”
“Indeed, Steven. And thank you for saving Mr. Silver’s life. Let’s take a look at those allusions and try to develop a precise and focused thesis, O.K.? Maybe now, Mr. Silver will allow us to get some work done.”
“I doubt it,” Steven said laughing.
I went back to my essays but from time to time turned to watch them working together. Mia was so good with him, explaining the same ideas over and over again, keeping them new, approaching from different angles, never losing her patience, letting him make his arguments regardless of their quality.
“See here,” Steven said, quoting Joyce, ‘He came to the woman, the weaker vessel, and poured the poison of his eloquence into her ear.’ It’s just like what Claudius did to his brother.”
“O.K., but is that enough?” She asked, looking at him seriously, giving him the time to work it out on his own.
“Put the novel down, Steven. Look at me. Forget about the essay.”
Steven crossed his arms and looked up at her.
“Let’s just have a conversation. Do you think that Dedalus and Hamlet are really similar characters?”
“I think so. I don’t know.”
“Of course you know. Stop being a student who has to write a paper for a moment. Just tell me what you think. Are they similar? I’d like to know what you think.”
After a while he nodded his head. “Yes.”
“O.K.” Mia smiled at him. “Now tell me how.”
I loved her there. Sitting in the office with the door closed, listening to Steven and Mia, I became sharply aware of how soon it would all be gone. I’d miss the shabby office, the coffee maker, my desk, the view from