You Deserve Nothing - Alexander Maksik [89]
All of them are watching me so intently.
I get up and am struck by how different I feel standing there looking down at them.
I think I see a flash of fear in Moore’s eyes and it occurs to me that she’s worried I might become violent.
They look at me from all sides until I leave them there.
* * *
I walk down the hall, through the foyer and through the gates, where there is nearly no daylight left. The moon is a bright crescent in the cold evening sky and somehow I feel ready to live my life again. I stop at the end of that familiar street. I look back in the direction of the school and then up at the Christmas lights strung across the intersection. Then I look higher, beyond those pale electric lights, to the darkening sky.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To Pascale Brevet, whose love, grace, elegance, and courage have kept me alive for years and years.
To Merritt Tierce and Dorothy Royle, relentless friends and readers whose generosity and talent astound me.
To Jon Brockett, Erik Leidecker, Gretchen Wagner, James Tooley, John McNulty, Grant Rosenberg, Lianne Halfon, Jane Lewty, Andy Scisco, John Heintz, Ellen Adams, Martina Bacigalupo, Adriano Valerio, Sahngmie Lah, Anthony Marra and Ayana Mathis for their tireless support and kindness.
To Eric Simonoff, for his patience, wisdom, and generosity, and for refusing to give up on me.
To Alice Sebold, for her passion and unwavering faith. Reader and editor of my dreams.
To John Burnham Schwartz—mentor and friend.
To Bob Brock, Paul Hoornbeek, Ethan Canin, and Allan Gurganus—the four teachers who mattered.
To Tom Jenks, who was there first.
Thank you also to Susanna Moore, Naomi Shihab Nye, Bibliothèque Mazarine, Alixe Turner, Ziad Musallam, Claire Peverelli, the Biles family, Sophie Maarleveld, Elisabeth Hofmann, Doyeun Kim, Fernando Laposse, Michael Reynolds, Heather Bensko, Brad Listi, Steven Younger, Elena Calabrese, Luca Younger, Bob Goodkind, David Barnes, Cabaret Populaire, and the Iowa Writers’ Workshop.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alexander Maksik is the recipient of a Truman Capote Fellowship and a Teaching/Writing fellowship from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. He’s presently the Provost’s Postgraduate Writing Fellow at the University of Iowa. You Deserve Nothing is his first novel. He lives in Paris and Iowa City.
Table of Contents
GILAD 24 YEARS OLD
WILL 38 YEARS OLD
MARIE 25 YEARS OLD
GILAD
MARIE
WILL
GILAD
WILL
GILAD
MARIE
WILL
MARIE
GILAD
WILL
MARIE
GILAD
WILL
GILAD
WILL
MARIE
GILAD
WILL
MARIE
WILL
MARIE
GILAD
MARIE
WILL
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR