You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News - Writers of Cracked dot Com [35]
The parts of the brain are specialized, so trying to use all of it at once isn’t going to make you smarter, just more confused. That’s like trying to become a better writer by using every key on your keyboard all at once.
A series of neurologists over the past few hundred years figured out that a human can survive when parts of the brain are removed, which over time was misinterpreted to mean that the brain uses little of its potential, and the 10 percent statistic was born.
Who was fooled?
Not only do people still believe it, in 2006 Psychology Today even ran an article on how to access the lazy 90 percent of your gray matter.
One of the tips was to replenish the brain with nutrients, but we’re assuming we get plenty with all the spiders we’re eating every night. Oh, you didn’t know?
4. YOU ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOW APPROXIMATELY EIGHT SPIDERS A YEAR
This commonly believed statistic has been fed to us by countless Internet chain emails: When you sleep, you open your mouth to breathe and supposedly this is the ideal window of opportunity for all the spiders who hang out near your bed, hoping to be eaten alive.
Why is it a load of crap?
Back in 1993, PC Professional columnist Lisa Holst decided to prove that you could make up anything on the Internet and people would believe it.
She did this by putting together some utterly ridiculous “facts,” the spider myth (taken from a collection of insect folklore that dates back to the 1950s) among them, and unleashing them on the world in the form of an email.
As Holst’s email was forwarded from inbox to inbox, it began to evolve. The spider thing stayed, but somewhere along the line someone just “happened” to forget to include the fact that these facts were completely fake.
Who was fooled?
In 2006, the UK’s Daily Mirror warned that “the average person will swallow anything from eight to 20 spiders before they die.”
The Mirror then upped the ante by adding, “A spider is also likely to drink from your eye at least three times in your life. Some experts have suggested they are attracted by the vibrations of snoring and the smell of undigested food—a good reason to floss your teeth before bedtime.”
Really, is that what it takes to get the UK to worry about dental hygiene?
3. MEN THINK ABOUT SEX EVERY SIX SECONDS
As we all know, men do nothing but think about sex with their girlfriend or ex-girlfriend or friend who happens to be a girl/friend’s sister. It follows, then, that on average men think about sex every six seconds, right?
Why is it a load of crap?
Hey, fellas, when you were reading the spider-eating segment, did you think about sex? Were you imagining a massive spider orgy? If so, you’re alone (obviously). According to the Kinsey Institute, close to half of the men they surveyed said they don’t even think about sex every day, let alone every six seconds. Even if men did think about sex that frequently, how would they be able to break it down to such a precise rate of perversion? Hook electrodes up to some dude’s head and count how many times the sex lobe lights up in a week?
Who was fooled?
About half of us believe this fact, according to a 2007 poll conducted by mencanstoprape.org. It seems like common sense would have squashed this one even before it got started. Let’s say you watched a four-hour marathon of Matlock, a show during which it is physically impossible to think about sex. To make up that average later, you’d have to think about sex every, what, two seconds? So for the rest of the day your brain would just turn into a spinning kaleidoscope of titty.
2. AFTER EATING YOU MUST WAIT THIRTY MINUTES BEFORE SWIMMING
For some families, the harsher “hour” rule was used. If you broke the rule, the fear was that you would get cramps, drown, and die. This statistic is apparently based on the assumption that water-to-skin contact will cause the food in your belly to explode.
Why is it a load of crap?
Because you’re not a gremlin. As you may have already guessed, water does not bear properties that form a food-related cramp of