Your Money_ The Missing Manual - J. D. Roth [34]
In Mind Over Money, the authors note, "Overspending can become a vicious cycle. Overspenders experience an irresistible impulse to spend; they lose control over their spending, and then, to ease the anxiety over having lost control, they continue to buy."
People who've never suffered from compulsive spending can't understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They don't know what it's like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They don't know the lure of the shopping "rush"—and the subsequent nausea from the guilt of having spent money they don't have.
Here are some steps—based on my own experience and that of many Get Rich Slowly readers—that you can use to curb compulsive spending:
Cut up your credit cards. Don't make excuses to keep them—if you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Don't jot the numbers down someplace "just in case"; that makes it too easy to go to your desk drawer, pull out the numbers, and place an order online. Get rid of your credit cards completely.
Carry only cash. Don't use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but that's the point. If you're a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, you've got to make sacrifices. Spending cash will help remind you that when you buy something you're actually spending money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.
Tip
When you're tempted to buy something on credit, stop and ask yourself, "Would I pay cash for this?" If the answer is "no," then why in the world would you pay more for it by using a credit card, which is also going to charge you interest and fees?
Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much you're spending. Lunch every day at McDonald's—how much could that possibly cost? Picking up a few magazines on the way home from work—what harm is there in that? Once you begin to track your spending, patterns become clear. When you see these patterns, you can act on them. (For more on how to track your spending, see Tracking Your Spending.)
Play mind games. For some people, money isn't an emotional issue. They're able to make logical choices and not be tempted to do otherwise. For most of us, though, it doesn't work that way. If you're in this majority, it can be useful to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule (see Where to Find Help), for instance. I've found that I can often keep myself from spending by simply adding the Stuff I want to my wish list at Amazon.com; I come back weeks later and can't remember why I wanted it in the first place. Here are some questions to ask yourself when you're tempted to buy: http://tinyurl.com/GRS-tempted.
Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending money is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend. If your weakness is music, stay out of record stores and de-activate your iTunes account. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Avoid the places where you normally spend.
Ask for help. It's tough to beat an addiction alone. Seek support from your friends, family, and spouse—and don't get angry when they call you on your missteps.
Consider professional help. There's no shame in seeking therapy for help with problems that seem bigger than you. You have to look inward to overcome any form of addiction; a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you to find the way.
The good news is that you can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it's going to take work and it won't happen overnight. You'll make mistakes and backslide, but when you do, don't give up and don't beat yourself up over it. You're human, after all. Stay focused on your long-term goals, and resolve