Your Public Best - Lillian Brown [62]
The key to calming her fears turned out to be my convincing her to rehearse and rehearse and rehearse her speech again, ticking off the tips I describe in this section to help calm her down. She also learned how to open the back of her throat, relax the muscles in the neck, and to memorize the first words of the speech.
I also coached her to keep saying to herself that “this was only one more speech,” in an attempt to convince her subconscious that she could do it.
Using these guidelines, we were able to calm most of her fears, and she gave quite a good speech. She was subsequently able to accept other major speaking invitations with much more confidence. Now she is one of the association’s designated spokespersons.
If you suffer from stage fright—of any degree ranging from a mild case on up to the paralyzing type that my client suffered from (i.e., your throat goes so tight and dry that you have difficulty talking)—you can conquer it by going through these same rehearsal techniques outlined here.
Know in advance what relaxation techniques work for you. Adopt a relaxing exercise that reduces tension.
Many famous athletes have a little ritual that they go through before athletic competitions involving their clothing, warming up, giving themselves a pep talk, visualizing winning, etc. With some, this involves the superstition that the ritual will bring them luck. But the point is that you can do the same thing by developing a relaxation technique that works for you to reduce stage fright.
However, keep in mind that minor symptoms of stage fright can be helpful to your presentation: The rapid heartbeat is nature’s way of supplying extra oxygen to your brain; breathing deeply aids the circulation of your blood; and extra adrenaline gives you the energy to keep alert. A little bit of stage fright has a positive aspect because it rivets your attention on what you are doing. It can sharpen and improve your performance skills.
Radiate a sense of warmth, caring, sincerity, and credibility. If you project a sense of liking yourself, your audience will like you, too.
All of this requires patience and practice, but it is well worth the effort, and it will conquer stage fright for you.
Just before your appearance, you may find that a personal check-off list is helpful, just as the airline pilot checks off the essential items before a flight. Your private list might include saying some of the following to yourself:
• My appearance is good: My hair, makeup (if applicable), and clothes are right.
• I am using good eye contact.
• My posture is good, and I am relaxed up here in front.
• My body language is friendly.
• This is really one of the best speeches that I’ve ever written. I can’t wait to give it to the audience.
• I am familiar with this speech; I know what I am going to say.
• My notes are well organized and easy for me to follow.
• This is a great audience.
• This audience likes me. I want to be up here. In fact, I enjoy being up here, and the audience knows it.
• I know how to relax throughout this speech.
• I am transmitting confidence and authority.
• My speaking skills are effective.
• I know that when this speech is over, I will be happy with my performance.
• They are going to wish that I will keep on talking, but I’m going to end my speech before that.
• I look forward to making future speeches. I get a lot of satisfaction out of the applause and well-wishers’ comments at the end of my speech.
Being Shy. Being naturally shy is related to but different from stage fright. You may feel that you are simply too shy to speak in public. You blush, sweat, stammer, and/or feel ashamed of your performance. If so, you are not alone.
You can overcome your shyness when you recognize it for what it is and list the skills you need to make a performance you can be proud of. Work on these skills in private, one at a time. Start with small, informal appearances among friends and gradually build confidence in yourself. It will be