Your Public Best - Lillian Brown [73]
In this way, there will be no confusion, surprise, or seeming disorganization up there on the platform when references to the canceled speaker are made. It is important that any such references be made smoothly and with taste so that the audience does not sense anything is amiss.
Probably the toughest situations to handle are: No one in the audience knows that you will be speaking instead of the scheduled speaker; all printed materials such as posters and programs mention the canceled speaker and not you; the other speaker was well known and many people in the audience came just to hear him or her and would not otherwise have attended the function; the scheduled speaker canceled because of some personal tragedy.
If you have to face such a situation, get past the introductions as gracefully and with as much dignity as possible. Use humor in your opening remarks (if appropriate) to get the audience members to laugh, loosen up, and be on your side so that they will pay attention to you and forget that you are a substitute. Once past your first couple of sentences, launch into your speech with energy and a pleasant, relaxed demeanor. Your audience will soon forget all about the other speaker.
When an opening joke about the absence of the other speaker is appropriate, don’t hesitate to think up something clever in advance and practice it over and over before your speech so that you can say it on the platform without awkwardness.
About five years ago, I attended a meeting of businessmen where the scheduled speaker was one of those jet set, international financiers. The substitute speaker began by saying, “Mr. ________ will not be speaking today—he was called suddenly to Zurich . . . seems that he got a telegram that said something about there being a mix-up between a winning lottery number and the numbers of one of his Swiss bank accounts.” This was an off-the-wall joke, but it relaxed the members of the audience, some of whom were still chuckling about it when the speaker was well into the more serious body of his speech.
Once you have completed your speech, take an extra few minutes to linger near the platform, allowing members of the audience to come up and congratulate you or ask questions. That way, you will feel even better about your speech and will gain even more confidence for the next time that you are asked to be a substitute speaker.
A Sample Opening
Let’s close this section by quoting the opening remarks of another substitute speaker that I heard last year at a medium-size meeting of a local businessperson’s group.
The original speaker was a fairly well-known investment counselor and CPA; the substitute speaker was a man well-known for his humor who had been asked to give the speech with only a couple of days’ notice. I’m quoting him at length because he did such a good job, and it might give you some ideas for your own speeches given under similar circumstances.
After being introduced, this is (very roughly) how it went:
“Well, well, well,” he began, grinning and surveying the audience slowly from left to right. “So here we all are. Except that you are down there and I am up here, and believe me, I’d rather that it was vice versa.... When they asked me to speak here on a couple of hours’ notice, I asked them if they minded if I gave a speech that I had given before, and they said, ‘No, of course not,’ so I brought along this speech that I gave to the Auxiliary of the Ladies’ Garden Club of Hackensack, New Jersey....” He paused for a laugh and pulled out a small stack of 3"X5" cards. “Or was it the Auxiliary of the Men’s Garden Club? .... I forget.
“Anyway, I’m sure you’ll give a collective sigh of relief....” He paused and motioned with the cards for the audience to give their impromptu version of a collective sigh of relief, then tossed the cards behind him as he said, “... When I tell you that I have decided against