150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [49]
SNOWBEAST
Douglas Cramer Productions, 1977
PRODUCERS Douglas S. Cramer (executive producer) and Wilford Lloyd Baumes (producer) Writer Joseph Stefano DIRECTOR Herb Wallerstein Stars Robert Logan (Tony Rill), Syliva Sidney (Carrie Rill), Bo Svenson (Gar Seberg), Yvette Mimieux (Ellen Seberg), and Clint Walker (Sheriff Paraday)
As a small ski resort prepares to celebrate its fiftieth winter carnival, a violent Sasquatch-like creature descends from the mountaintop to snack on the skiers.
Why It Sucks
It's a cross between Jaws and a disaster movie that suffers from an excess of padding (and no, I'm not talking about the costume the Sasquatch wears). There are waaaay too many montage shots of characters zooming downhill on skis or trudging through the frozen winter forest in search of Bigfoot tracks. We want to scream at the screen, “Just kill someone, dammit!”
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Writer Award goes to … Joseph Stefano for lack of basic writing skills. Dude, if you write a movie about people getting killed by a monster, we have to care about the characters a little. And the Worst Director Award goes to … Herb Wallerstein for filling his movie with obvious and dull scenes merely in order to meet the format-dictated made-for-television running time.
They Really Said It!
Tony Rill: I must have seen her somewhere. Maybe I'll recognize her when I see her face.
Sheriff Paraday: She doesn't have one.
Betcha Didn't Know
Joseph Stefano wrote the screenplay for Alfred Hitchcock's masterful thriller Psycho. Stefano later felt that the success of that film made it difficult for him to find work on any films other than horror and thrillers.
In 2009, sixty-eight-year-old Bo Svenson took the silver medal in the USA Judo National Championships. Svenson took the prize despite three broken ribs received during an accident while filming ICARUS two weeks earlier.
Trivia Quiz
Whose allegedly real Bigfoot encounter did Joseph Stafano use as inspiration for his Snow Beast script?
A: Film critic and talk show host Michael Medved
B: Author and Bigfoot-tracker Roger Patterson
C: Writer and director Roger Corman
D: Former United States president Jimmy Carter
Answer: B. In 1967, Roger Patterson shot a minute-long film of an alleged Bigfoot crossing a stream deep within a California wilderness.
THE SOUND OF HORROR
Zurbano Films, 1964
PRODUCER Gregorio Sacristán
WRITERS Sam X. Abarbanel, José Antonio Nieves Conde, G. Sacristán, and Gregg C. Tallas
DIRECTOR José Antonio Nieves Conde
STARS Arturo Fernández (Professor Andre), James Philbrook (Dr. Pete Asilov), Soledad Miranda (Maria), Lola Gaos (Calliope), José Bódalo (Mr. Dorman), and Ingrid Pitt (Sofia Minelli)
A group of treasure hunters blast openings in a series of caves and unleash invisible, flesh-eating dinosaurs that have been dormant for thousands of years.
Why It Sucks
It's a movie about invisible dinosaurs. Of course, it's a clever idea if you want to make a monster movie without any budget for special effects. But the filmmakers “show” the dinosaurs by filming long scenes of empty cave sets. I'm not kidding. Almost as bad a choice are dance routines by Soledad Miranda and Ingrid Pitt.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Don't Quit Your Day Job Award goes to … Soledad Miranda and Ingrid Pitt for proving they would have been finished as of the first episode of Dancing with the Stars.
And the Worst Director Award goes to … José Antonio Nieves Conde for turning invisible dinosaurs into show-killing pictures of empty caves.
They Really Said It!
Maria: And just how was he killed? This something, do you know what it was, Uncle Andre?
Professor Andre: Maybe a heart attack.
Dorman: Oh … and did he slash himself when he was dying?
Betcha Didn't Know
This was Ingrid Pitt's first screen appearance. She later appeared in Where Eagles Dare, alongside Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton, and many other films.
Soledad Miranda had just signed a contract with a German filmmaker for a role that promised to be her big break when she was killed in a car