150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [55]
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Continuity Award goes to … Everyone invovled with the production of Fantasy Mission Force. The stunt doubles are matched so badly with the actors, and the filming is so inept, that they barely bothered to dress them in similar costumes.
And the Worst Self-Referential Supporting Role goes to … Adam Cheng, who appears as a tuxedo-clad King of the Amazons. At the time this movie was made, he was winding down a successful singing career and transitioning into acting.
They Really Said It!
Lily: The nice people always die first. Do I look like a nice person?
Betcha Didn't Know
Many VHS and DVD versions of this film give Jackie Chan top billing. He is, in fact, in the film for less than fifteen minutes and plays a small supporting role.
Jackie Chan wrote in his autobiography I Am Jackie that he did this movie as a favor to Jimmy Wang Yu. He didn't have anything good to say about it.
Trivia Quiz
What movie star is usually credited with jump-starting the kung fu movie craze that turned Hong Kong into an international film center?
A: Jackie Chan
B: Adam Cheng
C: Brigitte Lin
D: Jimmy Wang Yu
Answer: D. Jimmy Wang Yu starred in The Chinese Boxer, a hit for the Shaw Bros. and usually credited with starting the kung fu craze.
FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY
(AKA “FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY”)
Liliw Productions, 1981
PRODUCERS Peter M. Caballes and Dick Randall
WRITER Cora Ridon Caballes
DIRECTOR Eddie Nicart
STARS Weng Weng (Agent 00) and Beth Sandoval (Irma)
When the odds of success appear insurmountable, the Phillipine Secret Agency (PSA) calls upon its smallest operative — Weng Weng, a dwarf code-named Agent 00 (Weng). But can even he rescue a kid-napped American scientist before the mysterious criminal mastermind Mister Giant forces the scientist to build him a deadly N-bomb? And, more importantly, will the swingin' Weng Weng nail his beautiful collegue, Irma (Sandoval).
Why It Sucks
It's a James Bond spoof about a dwarf who cock-punches opponents while giggling maniacally. The joke's funny once, but that's about it. The film is so low budget that the villain's minions cruise around in a VW Bug, and Weng Weng's spy gadgets look like they were made in someone's garage — which they probably were.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Special Achievement in Unsportsmanlike Behavior Award goes to … Weng Weng for almost always leading with a punch or a kick to the groin. Sometimes, for good measure, he stomps on the balls of an already defeated bad guy. All this while giggling.
And the Worst Script Award goes to … Cora Ridon Caballes or whoever wrote the English-language dialogue. It features some of the strangest non sequiturs you'll ever hear.
They Really Said It!
Irma: You're such a little guy, though. Very petite like a potato.
Betcha Didn't Know
For Your Height Only was successful enough to spawn a sequel, The Imposssible Kid.
Weng Weng reportedly died of progeria at the age of thirty-five.
Trivia Quiz
What degree of martial arts did actor Weng Weng achieve?
A: Green Belt
B: Red Belt
C: Black Belt
D: Weng Weng did not practice martial arts in real life.
Answer: B. According to Weng Weng scholar Andrew Leavold (who created a documentary, The Search for Weng Weng), the actor's first movie listed his vital statistics as: Weight, 30 pounds; Red Belt; Blood pressure 120/80.
GAMMERA THE INVINCIBLE
Harris Associates, 1966
PRODUCERS Ken Barnett (executive producer) and Masaichi Nagata (producer)
WRITERS Nizo Takahashi and Richard Kraft
DIRECTORS Noriaki Yuasa and Sandy Howard
STARS Eiji Funakoshi (Dr. Hidaka), Michiko Sugata (Nobuyo), Brian Donlevy (Gen. Terry Arnold), Diane Findlay (Sgt. Susan Embers), and Dick O'Neill (Gen. O'Neill) The prehistoric (yet radioactive) monster Gammera