150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [54]
Hanzo Hattori is a well-known hero in Japan. Train stations and other landmarks bear his name.
Trivia Quiz
How did the historical figure Matsunaga Danjo meet his end?
A: He drowned while bathing drunk on sake.
B: He committed seppuku while enemy troops stormed his castle, and his severed head was tied to a tea kettle and blown up so that it could not be displayed as a trophy.
C: He choked on his own vomit (or possibly suffocated on vomit spewed by demon monks).
D: He slipped on icy stairs while chasing his mistress in a fit of passion.
Answer: B. Really! After his head was tied to the tea kettle, his enemies filled it (the tea kettle, that is) with gun powder and blew it up. This tea kettle features prominently in Ninja Wars.
CITY HUNTER
Golden Harvest, 1993
PRODUCERS Raymond Chow and Leonard Ho (executive producers), Lam Chua (producer)
WRITERS Jing Wong (script), Tsukasa Ho jo (original characters and comic book)
DIRECTOR Jing Wong
STARS Jackie Chan (Ryu Saeba), Chingmy Yau (Saeko Nogami/Anna), Joey Wang (Kaori Makimura/Carrie), Richard Norton (Col. MacDonald), Kumiko Goto (Shizuko Imamura/Kyoko), Michael Wong (Hideyuki Makimura), and Gary Daniels (MacDonald's henchman)
Private detective Ryu Saeba (Chan), hired to track down a runaway heiress, ends up on a luxury liner, trapped between his jealous secretary/partner (Wang), the attractive heiress, a sexy gun-happy female cop (Yau), and a group of terrorists bent on capturing the ship and holding the passengers for ransom. And all the poor guy wants is a bite to eat, because he skipped breakfast!
Why It Sucks
City Hunter was adapted from a Japanese comic book and animated series of the same name … and it shows. The actors do the kind of double-takes, gestures, and poses that you'd expect from, well, a comic book. Not to mention the fact that this “action” film has a musical production number halfway through. Be forewarned: If you don't know the comic book, the chaotic story is going to be mindblowingly confusing.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Picture Award goes to … Producers Raymond Chow, Leonard Ho, and Lam Chua for making a movie with Jackie Chan where he doesn't do any of his signature physical comedy.
And the Worst Writing Award goes to … Writer/director Jing Wong for not taking just a couple of minutes (that's all it would take!) to set up the characters for the uninitiated.
They Really Said It!
Ryo Saeba: How do I get to the casino from here?
Hideyuki Makimura: Take the elevator.
Ryo Saeba: I mean by stealth.
Hideyuki Makimura: Take the elevator and don't tell anyone.
Betcha Didn't Know
Jackie Chan has often named this film as one of his least favorites.
One of the characters from the Street Fighter II game was renamed E. Honde instead of E. Honda, because Jackie Chan was a spokesman for Mitsubishi Motors and any mention of competitor Honda had to be avoided.
Trivia Quiz
What star of this film is nicknamed “Dangerman”?
A: Jackie Chan
B: Richard Norton
C: Gary Daniels
D: Joey Wang
Answer: C. Gary Daniels is a world champion kickboxer who retired from the sport and turned to acting. He's appeared in more than forty-five films and TV series.
FANTASY MISSION FORCE
Original Production Company Unidentified, 1982
PRODUCER Hsiao Yin Shen
WRITER Hsin Wei
DIRECTOR Yen-Ping Chu
STARS Jimmy Wang Yu (Lt. Don), Brigitte Lin (Lily), Jackie Chan (Sammy), Gou Ling Feng (Greased Lightning), Sun Yueh (Old Sun), Ling Chang (Emily), and Adam Cheng (Amazon Leader)
When the Japanse capture the top Allied generals, including Abraham Lincoln, during the invasion of Arctic Canada at the height of World War II, it's up to a group of super-weird commandos to rescue them and defeat the Imperial Japanese Army, cannibal Amazons, and hopping vampires. In Luxembourg.
Why It Sucks
If you've ever wanted to find out what an acid trip might be like without actually dropping LSD, then you might want to watch