150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [59]
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Editing Award goes to … The drunken louts who, presumably in an effort to please the MPAA ratings board, ruined the film's otherwise well-staged fight scenes. This includes screwing up Tina's first confrontation with Hammerhead, which raises the question of how Tina survives a fall from a bridge.
And the Worst Actress Award goes to … Etsuko “Sue” Shihomi has the martial arts moves, but she's no actress.
They Really Said It!
Hammerhead: There is only room for one champion.
Betcha Didn't Know
This film is occasionally misidentified as a sequel to The Street Fighter. While the films share similar titles and several of the same actors, none play the same roles and the tone of this film is different from anything found in the two actual sequels to The Street Fighter, let alone the original.
Etsuko Shihomi retired from acting in 1987 after marrying Japanese singer and actor Tsuyoshi Nagabushi.
Trivia Quiz
How did Sue Shihomi become a cinematic martial artist?
A: She joined Sonny Chiba's Japan Action Club.
B: She dated Sonny Chiba and he gave her jobs.
C: She became an impromptu replacement for a stunt-woman killed on a set she was passing by.
D: She funded Sister Street Fighter with money made from shrewd stock investments.
Answer: A. Chiba's Japan Action Club was created to improve the physical fitness of actors so they could perform better in action and martial arts films. Shihomi quickly rose to its top ranks.
CHAPTER TWELVE
INDEPENDENT ODDITIES
If you love movies, you've undoubtedly got friends who love movies. Among them, there may be someone who minored in film studies and who likes to pontificate on the superior nature of independent films. If you want to shut him up, mention one of the movies in this chapter.
THE APE MAN (AKA “LOCK YOUR DOORS”)
Banner Productions, 1943
PRODUCERS Jack Dietz and Sam Katzman
WRITERS Barney A. Sarecky (script) and Karl Brown (original short story, “They Creep in the Dark”)
DIRECTOR William Beaudine
STARS Bela Lugosi (Dr. James Brewster), Wallace Ford (Jeff Carter), Minerva Urecal (Agatha Brewster), Louise Currie (Billie Mason), Henry Hall (Dr. George Randall), and Emil Van Horn (the Ape)
Dr. Brewster (Lugosi) decides to prove his evolutionary theory by using a serum to turn himself into a “missing link.” He soon regrets this and sets out to create a cure. Unfortunately, his cure requires lots of fresh spinal fluid to work, so he and his pet gorilla (Van Horn) prowl the streets, looking for suitable victims.
Why It Sucks
The Ape Man is an embarrassing affair all around. From the guy in the gorilla suit, to Lugosi's “ape man” costume, to the lame trio of comic relief characters. It's often hard to tell if it was intended as a horror film, or a horror film spoof. For the sake of the great Lugosi, I hope it's the latter.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Special Achievement in the Area of Cinematic Disaster Award goes to … William Beaudine, who for the first ten minutes makes viewers think they're in for a fun time with Bela Lugosi in his best over-the-top form. Sadly, that all goes away for the next fifty-five minutes
And the Worst Script Award goes to … Barney A. Sarecky for the character of the “spiritualist” Agatha Brewster. This is a film about a guy who turns into an ape-man through the wonders of science. What does a loon who thinks she talks to spirits have to do with anything?
They Really Said It!
Agatha Brewster: Most spirits are honest, gentle, and kind, and only want to bring happiness to humans. But a few are evil and, having been wicked in life, are wicked in death, and only haunt the scenes of desperate crimes, reveling in murder.
Betcha Didn't Know
Actor Emil Van Horn made a career out of playing gorillas in burlesque performances. Between the years 1941 and 1948, he lent his talents (and ape suit) to eight different movies and matinee serials, including Abbott and Costello's wartime comedy Keep 'Em Flying.
Some film historians have claimed that the script for The Ape Man