150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [76]
Why It Sucks
Back From Hell features a good idea — an actor who is cursed to inspire homicidal rage in anyone who looks into his eyes — but that's watered down by the addition of an insipid “demons are going to conquer the world” storyline. And then there's the badly written dialogue delivered by actors who are outstanding in their lack of talent. Larry DuBois would barely be believable as a porn star, let alone a Hollywood leading man. The music sounds like it was stolen from the garbage cans outside John Carpenter's office.
Thumbs Down:
The Crappies
The Worst Cinematography Award goes to … Matt Jaissle for failing to realize that camera angles are important when filming stage fighting. As it is, the actors look like they're eleven-year-olds playing in the backyard.
And the Worst Sound Editing Award goes to … Matt Jaissle for such poor Foley work and mixing that he might have set a new low for filmmaking, surpassing even Heaven's Gate.
They Really Said It!
Father Aaron: Tell Satan I said, “Kiss my black ass!”
Betcha Didn't Know
In 1997, Matt Jaissle won the Film of the Year Award from the Miami Horror Film Festival for The Necro Files. That appears to be the only year there was a Miami Horror Film Festival.
This is the only film (at least the only one I can find) in which a priest is literally touched by the Bible. A demonic hand comes out of it and grabs Father Aaron's crotch.
Trivia Quiz
What does a Foley artist do?
A: Designs the lighting of movie sets
B: Loads film into cameras
C: Creates special makeup effects
D: Engineers many of the common sounds heard in movies, such as doors opening and closing.
Answer: D. The name “Foley” comes from Jack Foley, a pioneering sound engineer who helped Universal Pictures make a hugely successful transition from silent films to talkies.
THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU
(AKA “ASSIGNMENT ISTANBUL” AND
“THE TORTURE CHAMBER OF FU MANCHU”)
Balcázar Producciones, 1969
PRODUCERS Harry Alan Towers and Jaime Jesús Balcázar
WRITERS Manfred Barthel (script and story), Peter Welbeck (dialogue, English version), and Jaime Jesús Balcázar (dialogue, Spanish version)
DIRECTOR Jess Franco
STARS Richard Greene (Nayland Smith), Christopher Lee (Fu Manchu), Howard Marion-Crawford (Dr. Petrie), and Tsai Chin (Lin Tang)
The immortal Dr. Fu Manchu (Lee) launches yet another nefarious scheme — this one involving a chemical weapon that will freeze the world's oceans solid — and only Sir Dennis Nayland Smith (Greene) can stop him. But will Sir Dennis save the audience from dying of boredom?
Why It Sucks
There's about twenty minutes worth of plot in this movie … and another hour of dull filler, not to mention stock footage grabbed from a couple of far better movies.
The only decent thing about it is Christopher Lee's Fu Manchu makeup and costumes. Franco was smart enough not to mess with something that worked, even if he couldn't pull off anything decent when it came to the new material.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Director Award goes to … Jess Franco for not even bothering to add sound effects to the fight scenes in post-production. The lack of meaty thwacks or sound of bodies falling to the ground emphasize the fact that it's just a bunch of grown men swinging at thin air.
And the Worst Actress Award goes to … Tsai Ching as Fu Manchu's daughter Lin Tang. The character's supposed to sexy, dammit! With Tsai's performance we get a sensuality-free portrayal of the character that could pass muster with the Family Research Council.
They Really Said It!
Lin Tang: Even Nayland Smith cannot touch you now, father.
Fu Manchu: I wish that he would try.
Betcha Didn't Know
Jess Franco has directed, produced, or written films under sixty-five different confirmed pseudonyms.
Jess Franco's two Fu Manchu films were the final serious movies to feature Sax Rohmer's creation.
Trivia Quiz
Who was Arthur Sarsfield Ward?
A: Fu Manchu's most dedicated adversary after Dennis Nayland Smith
B: The creator of Fu Manchu
C: The