150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [75]
And the Worst Actor Award goes to … Dennis Hopper for his cameo role as a gun-toting, judge-fighting, mindless ACLU zombie.
His performance is so flat and uninspired that he makes the already bad dialogue seem even worse.
They Really Said It!
Mohammed: It is getting harder to recruit suicide bombers, and all the really good ones are gone.
Betcha Didn't Know
In an article on the Los Angeles Times website the day the film opened, David Zucker was quoted as saying the producers chose not to have the film screened for critics since it wouldn't get a fair shake because of its political message.
The working title of the film was Big Fat Important Movie.
Trivia Quiz
Who Wrote A Christmas Carol, the literary classic this film is sloppily modeled after?
A: Bram Stoker
B: Mark Twain
C: Charles Dickens
D: Emily Brontë
Answer: C. Charles Dickens's classic tale was published in 1843.
THE ASTRO-ZOMB IES (AKA “THE SPACE VAMPIRES”)
Ram Ltd., 1968
PRODUCERS Kenneth Altose and Wayne Rogers (executive producers), Ted V. Mikels (producer)
WRITERS Wayne Rogers and Ted V. Mikels
DIRECTOR Ted V. Mikels
STARS Wendell Corey (Holman), John Carradine (Dr. DeMarco), Joan Patrick (Janine Norwalk), Tura Satana (Satana), and Rafael Campos (Juan)
A disgraced NASA researcher (Carradine) trying to create the perfect astronaut uses dead bodies, hi-tech, and radio waves. He also employs the brain of a homicidal maniac for one of this creations, and (surprise!) it runs amok. A sinister Mexican spy ring dispatches sultry psycho Satana (Satana) to secure the zombie for their use as a super-soldier. Meanwhile, the Astro-Zombie is stalking a beautiful nurse (Patrick) ….
Why It Sucks
The Astro-Zombies mixes all sorts of genres into a wild B movie stew. It offers action, spy versus spy intrigue, blood and guts … everything but competent filmmaking. A weak script, bland camerawork, flat direction, and an excess of padding make this film excruciating, despite all the plots and subplots and characters crammed into it.
Carradine putters around his lab for what seems like hours. There are long stretches of badly delivered expository dialogue. And then we're back to Carradine puttering.
Thumbs Down:
The Crappies
The Worst Auteur Award goes to … Ted V. Mikels for not having the sense to make a movie that fit the length of the material. Nothing sends an already borderline effort into the Suck Zone like stretching it to fit a particular running time.
And the Worst Title Design Award goes to … Ted V. Mikels for the not-so-thrilling opening credits sequence. Battling toy robots. I mean, come on!
They Really Said It!
Satana: There's a certain look men get just before they die.
Betcha Didn't Know
Cowriter and executive producer Wayne Rogers starred as Trapper John on the television series M.A.S.H.
Ted V. Mikels wrote and directed a sequel to The Astro-Zombies in 2002 titled Mark of the Astro-Zombies. This sequel is not an improvement on the original.
Trivia Quiz
Who played Dr. DeMarco in Mark of the Astro-Zombies (2002)?
A: John Carradine
B: Wayne Rogers
C: Ted V. Mikels
D: Robert James Taylor
Answer: D. Robert James Taylor took over the role originally played by John Carradine. The latter had died in 1988. Taylor actually attempted to imitate Carradine's voice, which was remarkably unsuccessful.
BACK FROM HELL (AKA “DEMON APOCALYPSE”)
Kashmir Motion Pictures, 1993
PRODUCERS Brian E. Morey (executive producer) and Matt Jaissle (producer)
WRITER Matt Jaissle
DIRECTOR Matt Jaissle
STARS Shawn Scarbrough (Father Aaron), Larry DuBois (Jack), Don Ruem (Satan), and Matt Hundley (Azzagras, High Priest of Satan)
Jack (DuBois), an actor who sold his soul for Hollywood stardom, renegs on the deal with Satan (Ruem) and finds himself under the effects of a terrible curse. He turns to his childhood friend, Aaron (Scarbrough), now a priest, hoping not only to free himself from the curse,