150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [8]
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Award for Worst Production Management goes to … Gloria Katz and George Lucas, for spending time and money on an animatronic duck suit, as if that were the answer to the film's script problems.
And the Award for Worst Animation goes to … The animators of the alien overlords, who did stop motion so badly that we feel like we're watching an outtake of a Ray Harryhausen film (though even Harryhausen's rejected bits were undoubtedly better animation than what we see here).
They Really Said It!
Howard T. Duck: “If God had wanted us to fly, he wouldn't have taken away our wings.”
Betcha Didn't Know
The film cost over $30 million dollars (some sources estimate as high as $37 million) but only grossed some $5.1 million during its theatrical run.
Howard the Duck creator Steve Gerber engaged Marvel in a bitter legal battle over the rights to the character.
Trivia Quiz
What television talk show host was considered for the part that ultimately went to Tim Robbins?
A: Jay Leno
B: David Letterman
C: Conan O'Brien
D: Stephen Colbert
Answer: A. Jay Leno, who at the time was an established stand-up comedian and an up-and-coming bit-player in movies.
HUDSON HAWK
TriStar Pictures and Silver Pictures, 1991
PRODUCERS Robert Kraft (executive producer), Joel Silver (producer)
WRITERS Steven E. de Souza and Daniel Waters (script), Bruce Willis and Robert Kraft (story)
DIRECTOR Michael Lehmann
STARS Bruce Willis (Hudson Hawk), Danny Aiello (Tommy “Five-Tone” Messina), Andie MacDowell (Anna Baragli), Richard E. Grant (Darwin Mayflower), Sandra Bernhard (Minerva Mayflower), and James Coburn (George Kaplan)
On the day once-renowned cat-burglar Hudson Hawk (Willis) is released from prison, he is forced to help a pair of crazed billionaires (Bernhard and Grant) and a renegade CIA operative (Coburn) retrieve the hidden pieces of Leonardo Da Vinci's greatest invention: a device that will turn any metal into gold. All Hudson wants to do is go straight … or at least get a good cup of cappuccino.
Why It Sucks
The actors reportedly had a good time making this movie, but the audience sure doesn't have a good time watching it. The jokes often turn on obscure film buff references — which probably struck the writers as hilarious but to us sound lame. The film's pacing and tone swing from frenetic slapstick to slow-moving black comedy, to a simple-minded action movie spoof. Bruce Willis spends so much time mugging at the camera that you expect to hear rim shots.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Writing Award goes to … Steven E. de Souza and Daniel Waters for alluding to (though not, thank God, showing) Sandra Bernhard, Richard Grant, and Leonardo de Vinci naked and eating sushi in the back of a limo. California rolls will never taste the same again.
And the Worst Acting Award goes to … Bruce Willis. The guy can do comedy — as Moonlighting proved — but in this movie he confuses being funny with overacting.
They Really Said It!
Darwin Mayflower: History, tradition, culture are not concepts. These are trophies I keep in my den as paperweights!
Betcha Didn't Know
George Kaplan, the CIA agent played by James Coburn, is also the name of the spy everyone is hunting in Hitchcock's North By Northwest (1959).
The film cost around $65 million to make but barely made $17 million during its theatrical run in the United States.
Trivia Quiz
What was the premise of the television series Moonlighting?
A: A police detective works nights as a stand-up comedian.
B: A stand-up comedian works as a private detective on the side.
C: A golf pro hunts werewolves during every full moon.
D: A detective agency is run by a former model and a wisecracking tough guy.
Answer: D. A detective agency run by a former model and a wise-cracking tough guy. (Willis starred as the tough guy, David Addison.)
ISHTAR
Columbia Pictures, 1987
PRODUCER Warren