150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [88]
Captain Leary (Rooker) leads a team of military specialists into the forests of the Northwest to hunt a killer who has already taken out some of best the U.S. military has to offer — as well as some civilians. Unfortunately, the soldiers are fighting the awakened spirit of a homicidal maniac bent on killing everything and anything he comes across.
Why It Sucks
Skeleton Man is a tepid, disorganized slasher flick. Elements are tossed in at random, with no attempt to resolve anything. Why is Skeleton Man killing? Why is his spirit roaming? You'd think the writers would at least be interested in these questions.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Costume Design goes to … Erica Englehardt and Kristen Evenson, who created the look of Skeleton Man out of a mask bought at Wal-Mart and some blackout curtains.
And the Worst Director Award goes to … Johnny Martin for either not noticing or not caring that his monster and the horse it rides on changed appearances from scene to scene.
They Really Said It!
Sgt. Cordero: If you can see it, I can shoot it.
Betcha Didn't Know
Since 1986, Michael Rooker has appeared in almost 100 movies and television series, and as of this writing he has more than ten projects under way.
The German-market DVD edition of this film identified it not as a horror movie but as a comedy, invoking the name of Edward D. Wood Jr. in the sell-copy on the cover.
Trivia Quiz
Which of the behind-the-camera people who worked on Skeleton Man is an accomplished stuntman and stunt coordinator, having worked on over 150 movies and television series (including Killer Klowns From Outer Space)?
A: Johnny Martin
B: Trevor Short
C: Danny Dimbort
D: Kristen Evenson
Answer: A. And he makes one helluva stuntman.
THE ST. FRANCISVILLE EXPERIMENT
Kushner-Locke Company, 2000
PRODUCERS Charles Band (executive producer), Paul Salamoff, Dana Scanlon, and Gary Schmoeller (producers)
WRITER Uncredited
DIRECTOR Ted Nicolaou
STARS Tim Baldini (Videorapher/Film Student), Madison Charap (Psychic), Paul James Palmer (Team Leader), Troy Taylor (Ghost Historian), and Ryan Larson (History Student)
A psychic and three college students agree to spend the night in a reputedly haunted house in order to prove the existence of the supernatural.
Why It Sucks
The tagline for this film was “Everything You've Heard Is True.”If you've heard that The St. Francisville Experiment is a steaming pile of crap, then … well … this is one of an endless stream of films that have attempted to recapture the success of The Blair Witch Project. I doubt I will ever see another movie that fails so spectacularly at doing what it set out to do.
The movie starts pretending to be a documentary, but the filmmakers quickly abandon that conceit, thus undercutting the whole premise of the movie. If all their “evidence” of supernatural hauntings were true, it would have been all over CNN.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Picture Award goes to … Everyone involved in the production and post-produciton of this film. How could they have screwed up a “reality-based” film as badly as this?
And the Worst Animation Award goes to … John R. Ellis for some of the worst fake poltergeist activity ever captured on film, not to mention some of the most out-of-place CGI ever. (It might not be his fault … the producers might have thought they needed to “sex up” this deadly dull movie, and they may have decided that everything is better with computer-animated ghosties!)
They Really Said It!
Tim: It was me. I farted.
Betcha Didn't Know
Troy Taylor is an author of nonfiction works about and an organizer of tours of haunted places. He reportedly did not know he was taking part in a project of pure fiction.
Director Ted Nicolaou has worked with Charles Band in many capacities since the 1980s, serving as editor and/or director on many of his productions, including Leapin' Leprechauns. (Maybe this film would have been better with leprechauns instead of ghosts.)
Trivia