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A CONFESSION [11]

By Root 503 0
first understand all this mysterious humanity,

consisting of people such as himself who do not understand one

another.

I have to confess that there was a time when I believed this.

It was the time when I had my own favourite ideals justifying my

own caprices, and I was trying to devise a theory which would allow

one to consider my caprices as the law of humanity. But as soon as

the question of life arose in my soul in full clearness that reply

at once few to dust. And I understood that as in the experimental

sciences there are real sciences, and semi-sciences which try to

give answers to questions beyond their competence, so in this

sphere there is a whole series of most diffused sciences which try

to reply to irrelevant questions. Semi-sciences of that kind, the

juridical and the social-historical, endeavour to solve the

questions of a man's life by pretending to decide each in its own

way, the question of the life of all humanity.

But as in the sphere of man's experimental knowledge one who

sincerely inquires how he is to live cannot be satisfied with the

reply -- "Study in endless space the mutations, infinite in time

and in complexity, of innumerable atoms, and then you will

understand your life" -- so also a sincere man cannot be satisfied

with the reply: "Study the whole life of humanity of which we

cannot know either the beginning or the end, of which we do not

even know a small part, and then you will understand your own

life." And like the experimental semi-sciences, so these other

semi-sciences are the more filled with obscurities, inexactitudes,

stupidities, and contradictions, the further they diverge from the

real problems. The problem of experimental science is the sequence

of cause and effect in material phenomena. It is only necessary

for experimental science to introduce the question of a final cause

for it to become nonsensical. The problem of abstract science is

the recognition of the primordial essence of life. It is only

necessary to introduce the investigation of consequential phenomena

(such as social and historical phenomena) and it also becomes

nonsensical.

Experimental science only then gives positive knowledge and

displays the greatness of the human mind when it does not introduce

into its investigations the question of an ultimate cause. And, on

the contrary, abstract science is only then science and displays

the greatness of the human mind when it puts quite aside questions

relating to the consequential causes of phenomena and regards man

solely in relation to an ultimate cause. Such in this realm of

science -- forming the pole of the sphere -- is metaphysics or

philosophy. That science states the question clearly: "What am I,

and what is the universe? And why do I exist, and why does the

universe exist?" And since it has existed it has always replied in

the same way. Whether the philosopher calls the essence of life

existing within me, and in all that exists, by the name of "idea",

or "substance", or "spirit", or "will", he says one and the same

thing: that this essence exists and that I am of that same

essence; but why it is he does not know, and does not say, if he is

an exact thinker. I ask: "Why should this essence exist? What

results from the fact that it is and will be?" ... And philosophy

not merely does not reply, but is itself only asking that question.

And if it is real philosophy all its labour lies merely in trying

to put that question clearly. And if it keeps firmly to its task

it cannot reply to the question otherwise than thus: "What am I,

and what is the universe?" "All and nothing"; and to the question

"Why?" by "I do not know".

So that however I may turn these replies of philosophy, I can

never obtain anything like an answer -- and not because, as in the

clear experimental sphere, the reply does not relate to my

question, but because here, though all the mental work is directed

just to my question, there is no answer, but instead of an answer

one gets the same question,

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