A Hole in the Universe - Mary McGarry Morris [125]
“What’s fashion retail?” Gordon asked from the table.
“A dress shop, but that’s what she kept calling it,” Delores said as she scrubbed the stew pot. “She kept referring to ‘the industry.’ Like it was some kind of secret society maybe I’d get accepted into if I was really lucky.” Her feigned indifference was only to spare his feelings. He was still out of work.
“You’re lucky. Every job you’ve applied for you’ve gotten.”
“Not so surprising, given my vast experience in the various industries.” She laughed. Too glum to be happy about anything, Gordon was trying to appear interested, but she could see what an effort it was. He had been like this since his visit to Dennis last week. “Of course, I’ve been working practically all my life,” she added, then turned on the rinse water just as he spoke. “What’d you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Yes, you did. What was it?”
“Nothing.”
“Gordon, I heard you. You said something about Lisa.”
He looked away, and she knew better than to pursue it. Only the prospect of beef stew simmering on the stove had lured him over here. When he agreed to come, she ran out and bought ingredients for the biggest, richest stew that no one in her right mind would want to cook, much less eat, in a ninety-five-degree kitchen. Even Gordon hadn’t had much of an appetite.
Poor man. He looked so dejected. She should have insisted he borrow money from her instead of subjecting himself to Dennis’s weak-kneed abuse. Whatever Dennis had said that day had devastated him. Every time she tried to get him to talk about it, he’d start looking for the door the way he just had.
Gordon was sponging the table clean. He leaned over to check the surface from all sides to be sure he’d gotten every crumb. The yellow envelope was still in the middle of the table. All through dinner she’d wanted to show him the latest picture that had come with her initial approval and this new set of forms, but he had been too discouraged and she didn’t want her happiness and excitement tainted by anything negative. Never had she been more keenly aware than now of the magnetic forces, the powerful energies, surging through the universe. It wasn’t just herself she would harness them for, but for him and for this child she wanted him to love.
“What about this envelope? Should I leave it here?” he asked.
“Yes. For now.” She suggested they go for a walk. He didn’t feel like it. He should probably go home, he said, then sat down and drummed his fingers on the table. She asked if she could change the bandage on his hand before he left. The wound wasn’t as red as it had been. Her eyes blurred as she wrapped the gauze around his strong hand. He had never been more trusting or seemed more gentle than at this moment. He had changed his mind, he said, he’d like to go for a walk.
She kept looking at their reflections in the passing storefront windows, pleased with the way she looked and felt. But Gordon was gaining weight. She couldn’t help it, but she loved feeding him. Tomorrow she had promised him shepherd’s pie the way his mother used to make it. She could tell from the picture that May Loo would need some fattening up. She probably wouldn’t like American food, and Delores suddenly realized she didn’t know how to cook any Chinese dishes. The Landmark Bookstore was only a couple of blocks ahead. She wanted to see if they had a Chinese cookbook. He asked how long it would take. Fifteen minutes, she said.
“I’m kind of tired,” he said with a sigh. “You don’t mind, do you?”
It was silly to be this disappointed, but she couldn’t help feeling he didn’t want to go because it had to do with May Loo. But no, he was obviously distressed. He kept sighing.
“What a beautiful night.” She slipped her arm through his as they approached the park. She felt him stiffen. “Gordon, what is it? What’s wrong?