A Lion's Tale_ Around the World in Spandex - Chris Jericho [88]
So I drove the three hours to Cincinnati and saw Metallica, Danzig, and Suicidal Tendencies. It was a great show and because of my tight connection with Krazy Kelly’s Kooky Furniture, I got to hang around backstage like a real rock ’n’ roller. I was speechless when I got to meet Metallica’s guitar player Kirk Hammett. I was even more speechless when I asked him for his autograph and he replied, “Only if I can use my boner as a speed bump.”
Master of Meat Puppets?
After I drove over Kirk’s kock with my Kamaro, I struck up a conversation with Rob Dibble, a pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds, who’d helped his team win the World Series that year. The power of music once again reared its rockin’ head and after discussing the finer points of thrash metal, he invited me to come hang out. Let me say that hanging out in the VIP section of the hottest clubs in Cincy with a World Series winning pitcher definitely didn’t suck. Rob even lent me his championship ring to wear for the night and I used it to prove to the girls that I was a pitcher for the Reds also.
Back in SMW, Cornette introduced his new attraction: a pair of angry ghetto dudes called the Gangstas. They came out for their first TV appearance with an entire posse dressed either like Louis Farrakhan with the bow ties around their necks or street thugs with the bandannas hiding their faces. They made gang signs, spoke Ebonics, and mockingly ate watermelons and fried chicken to protest the stereotypical “where all the white women at” portrayal of African Americans by certain segments of society.
Jimmy was hoping to tap in to the racism of the South by making the Gangstas top heels. But instead of the controversy creating cash, it did the opposite. The sponsors, the television executives, and the fans were all offended. Corny’s act of desperation didn’t work, business suffered, and Smoky Mountain Wrestling was losing ground.
Cornette didn’t help the situation by returning to the WWF. He’d struck up a working agreement with Vince and in return for Jimmy’s managing skills, Smoky became like a feeder system for the WWF. SMW suffered because Jim was spending less time with his own company. Still, I figured his return would lead to a big break for me and Lance. Certainly some scout from the WWF would discover us now! Except nobody did. The closest we got was an offer to do a weekend of house shows losing to the Bushwhackers, until even that fell through.
Since it was clear that the WWF had no interest in me, I decided to flaunt my goods to the other show in town when I saw that WCW was coming to Knoxville. It wasn’t a problem getting tickets for the show because I’d received a complimentary pair with my power bill. WCW wasn’t doing very good business and they had to give out free tickets to entice people to show up. But I was a poor independent wrestler so I had no problem using the free ducats in order to suck up for a job.
I walked the backstage area of the Coliseum in complete awe of the whole setup. Even though I’d wrestled in the same building with Smoky, this was like catching a glimpse of the promised land. Everywhere I looked I saw legendary figures milling around: Sting, Lex Luger, Arn Anderson, the Steiner Brothers, Terra Ryzing. All of them were eating plates of steak and chicken from an overstocked catering table that made the licorice and cupcakes that made up the SMW catering look embarrassing.
Other guys like Kevin Sullivan and my former AWA idol Greg Gagne seemed to be running the show, holding clipboards and wearing headsets. Tonga was also now with WCW and he introduced me to everyone.
“This is my friend Chris, I worked with him in Mexico. He’s a great wrestler.”
It was actually quite embarrassing, but I appreciated the props especially when he brought me to meet the booker of WCW, Ric Flair. If you’re a wrestling fan you appreciate Ric Flair; if you’re a wrestler you idolize him. He’s on the short list of the greatest performers of all time.