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He shakes his head.

I am ashamed to the point where I don’t know if I want to go on living. I don’t know you well, but I sense that you are struggling with some of these same issues. I can also see you changing, that you seem to be finding ways to handle them. When I ask you questions about what you’re doing, it is because I am seeking a way to give myself hope for some form of redemption. I am a believer in God, but God no longer seems to believe in me. If you know anything or have anything that you think might help me, I would be very thankful if you would be kind enough to share it with me.

I smile.

Why are you smiling?

Because I think it’s funny that a Federal Judge is asking me for advice.

We are all the same in here. Judge or Criminal, Bourbon Drinker or Crackhead.

I guess so.

Do you have anything you might be able to share with me, James?

I got two things.

What are they?

The first thing is Leonard.

West Coast Finance Director Leonard?

I laugh.

Yeah, West Coast Finance Director Leonard. You should go talk to him. Tell him I sent you and tell him you want to hear about holding on.

Holding on to what?

Just ask him.

I will do that. What is the second thing?

You ever see me reading that little book?

I point to the Tao. It is sitting on my nightstand.

Yes.

In about thirty seconds, I’m gonna climb out that window above your bed.

Miles laughs.

After I’m gone, pick up the book and give it a read. You might think it’s nonsense, and it very well may be nonsense, but it seems to do me good whenever I read it.

Why do you think it does that?

It just makes sense to me.

I’ll give it a try.

I stand, walk toward his bed.

You mind letting me through?

He moves out of the way.

I’m not going to ask you where you’re going or what you’re doing.

That’s probably best.

Be careful not to get caught.

I open the window and I step through it and I close it behind me. I feel the cold immediately. It is strong, bitter, tense and angry. It bites at my face and the exposed skin of my hands like a termite bites at wood.

I start walking. I walk quickly, avoiding all light and avoiding all windows. In the shadows I am safe and I am strong and I am comfortable. I know I won’t get caught in the shadows.

I find the Trail and I let it take me toward the Clearing. I step off where I always step off and I push my way through thick tangles of branches and through a tapestry of Evergreens.

As I approach the Clearing I start to rush. My eyes see but my mind registers moments of the future soon to be in Lilly’s arms. A branch strikes me. Across my cheek it tears the skin, not deep but deep enough.

I step into the clearing and she is there. She is sitting on frozen ground wrapped in a blanket her pale skin shining. She smiles and she stands and without words, she steps forward, opens the blanket, envelops me within it and within her and within myself. She kisses my cheek, the one not torn, she wraps me and she holds me. Her arms are thin but strong. She whispers in my ear.

I’m glad you’re here.

So am I.

I missed you.

I missed you too.

She releases me a little, enough to gain space. She steps to my side.

Let’s sit.

She stays at my side and she guides me down. We sit on frozen dirt and sharp leaves and brittle sticks. She reaches up and she delicately touches my cut cheek.

What happened?

I ran into a branch.

You couldn’t see?

I wasn’t paying attention.

You want me to make it better?

How you gonna do that?

I’ve got special powers.

Really?

You want to see?

Yeah.

She leans forward and she starts to kiss my cheek. I pull away.

What are you doing?

Healing you.

That’s a fresh wound.

I know.

That’s running blood.

I know.

You’re willing to take that risk?

She leans forward.

I am.

I don’t stop her. Her lips hit my cheek slightly open. Her tongue dances across the flesh of my face. I close my eyes. She pulls herself toward me her arms holding thin and strong. I move myself toward her my arms open and free. She kisses down my cheek to the edge of my mouth