A Million Little Pieces - James Frey [175]
Before the Session ends, Lincoln tells us that we have the rest of the afternoon off and that dinner tonight is on the Unit at six-thirty. Someone asks why and he says wait and see and he releases us. Most of the men get up quickly. They leave the Room or walk to some part of it where the smell isn’t as bad. I stand and I walk over to Leonard and Miles, who are sitting together against one of the walls. As I approach them, they look up at me. I smile and I speak.
Thank you both very much.
They look at each other. They look confused. They look back at me and Leonard speaks.
For what?
I was just with the Lawyer who has been dealing with my shit.
Miles speaks.
And?
I smile again.
Three to six months in County Jail. I have to report within ten days.
Leonard smiles, Miles speaks.
Are you happy with that?
I nod.
Yeah, I’m very happy.
Miles nods.
Good.
I think you two had something to do with it, so I want to say thank you.
Leonard looks at Miles, Miles looks at Leonard. Leonard speaks.
Did you do something?
Miles shakes his head.
No. Did you?
Leonard shakes his head.
No, I didn’t do anything.
Miles smiles.
And if you had, considering our positions on the opposite ends of the legal spectrum, you certainly wouldn’t have discussed it with me.
Leonard smiles.
No fucking way. I get nervous discussing the weather with you.
Miles laughs. I speak.
Is that how we’re playing this?
They both look at me. They are both smiling. Miles speaks.
Consider yourself a very fortunate young man, James.
Leonard nods.
Very fucking fortunate.
I smile.
Thank you.
Miles stands and says he needs to make some phone calls, Leonard stands and says he has some business to take care of before tonight. I walk up the stairs and I go to my Room and I open the door and I sit down on my bed and I pick up my book. I have missed it my little Chinese book.
Forty-four. What is more important, fame or integrity. What is more valuable, money or happiness. What is more dangerous, success or failure. If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy. Be content with what you have and take joy in the way things are. When you realize you have all you need, the World belongs to you.
Thirty-six. If you want to shrink something, you must first expand it. If you want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish. If you want to take something, you must allow it to be given. The soft will overcome the hard. The slow will beat the fast. Don’t tell people the way, just show them the results.
Seventy-four. If you understand that all things change constantly change, there is nothing you will hold on to, all things change. If you aren’t afraid of dying, there is nothing you can’t do. Trying to control the future is like trying to take the place of the Master Carpenter. When you handle the Master Carpenter’s tools, chances are that you’ll cut your hand.
Thirty-three. Knowing other people is intelligence, knowing yourself is wisdom. Mastering other people is strength, mastering yourself is power. If you realize that what you have is enough, you are rich truly rich. Stay in the center and embrace peace, simplicity, patience and compassion. Embrace the possibility of death and you will endure. Embrace the possibility of life and you will endure.
This little book feeds me. It feeds me food I didn’t know existed, feeds me food I wanted to taste, and have never tasted before, food that will nourish me and keep me full and keep me alive. I read it and it feeds me. It lets me see what my life is in simple terms, it simply is what it is, and I can deal with my life on those