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A Million Little Pieces - James Frey [202]

By Root 1239 0
and in my mind for the rest of my life. Dearest Lilly.

I walk through the Halls and I go to my Room. I get Hank’s jacket and the small black bag that holds my belongings. I leave the Room and I walk to Joanne’s Office. I knock on the door. She says come in.

I open the door and I step inside. Joanne and Hank are sitting together on her couch. They are drinking coffee and Joanne is smoking a cigarette. Joanne smiles and she speaks.

Hi.

I walk to the chair opposite them.

Hi.

I sit. Hank speaks.

We’ve been waiting for you.

I had breakfast.

Joanne speaks.

How was it?

It was beautiful.

She smiles.

I’ve never heard anyone describe a meal here as beautiful.

I smile.

That’s what it was. Beautiful.

Hank speaks.

You ready to go?

Yeah.

You scared?

I was earlier, but I’m not now.

Joanne speaks.

What were you scared of?

Everything.

And what happened?

I decided not to be.

Simple as that?

Simple as that.

I hold up Hank’s jacket, toss it to him.

I brought your jacket back. Thank you for letting me use it.

He tosses it back to me.

I want you to keep it.

I toss it back to him.

Thank you, but no. I want you to keep it so when I come back to visit, I’ll be able to wear it.

I’ll make that deal on one condition.

What’s that?

You come back here sober, as a Visitor, not as a Patient.

Have no doubt about that, Old Man.

He smiles.

That’s my motherfucking Boy.

Joanne speaks.

Watch your mouth, Hank.

Hank turns to her.

I can swear around him now. He ain’t a Patient anymore.

He’s a Patient until he walks out the front door.

Hanks turns to me.

You care if I say motherfucking around you?

I smile.

I’d be fucking offended if you didn’t.

Hank laughs, slaps his knee.

That’s my motherfucking Boy.

I laugh. Joanne speaks.

You’re all set to be picked up?

Yeah.

Have you checked out yet?

No.

You should get going.

I nod again.

I know.

She stands.

Give me a hug?

I stand.

Of course.

I step forward and I hug her. There is emotion in the hug, and there is respect and a form of love. Emotion that comes from honesty, respect that comes from challenge, and the form of love that exists between people whose minds have touched, whose hearts have touched, whose souls have touched. Our minds touched. Our hearts touched. Our souls touched.

We separate. Hanks steps forward.

I ain’t much for words, Kid.

He puts his arms around me and he hugs me so hard that it hurts. My arms are pinned to my sides so I can’t hug him, but I don’t think he needs it. He lets go of me and he takes a step back and he puts one of his arms around Joanne’s shoulders. He speaks.

Make us proud, Kid.

I’ll try.

Do better than try. I want you back here wearing that fucking coat in a year.

Joanne speaks.

Hank.

Hank looks at her.

He’s not a Patient anymore.

Joanne shakes her head, turns to me.

Stay in touch.

I nod.

I will.

I turn and I walk out of the Office. I close the door behind me and I walk through the Halls. I go to the Administration Office and I sit with an Administration Officer and I fill out my release papers. When I am finished, I sign my name on the bottom of a page and I am done. The Officer tells me I am free to go.

I walk out of the Office and through a short Hall. I walk into the Lobby where I sat waiting with my Family in a different life. I say hello to the Receptionist and she says hello to me. Through the windows I see my Brother’s gray truck, which is the type of fancy passenger truck common in the Suburbs, sitting in front of the Entrance. I open the front door and I walk out of the Clinic. I am free to go.

My Brother sees me coming and he opens the Driver’s door and he steps out of his truck. He is smiling. He speaks.

What’s up, Buddy?

What’s up, Motherfucker?

He hugs me. I hug him. A good strong fraternal hug. My friend Kevin steps out of the Passenger’s door. He is my size, has short dark parted hair, and a newly grown beer belly. He sells commercial real estate for a living, but when he is not working, he dresses like a bum. He smiles and he speaks.

What’s up?

Nothing. What’s up with you?

Came to make

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