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By Root 1055 0

and I relive the memories of the games I attended with my Mother and my Father and my Brother. Around me, men cheer and yell according to their bets. One man complains about having to watch Cleveland/Pittsburgh and he calls Cleveland the Mistake on the Lake and he says that it is the shittiest City he’s ever seen and that it’s full of the shittiest People he’s ever had the displeasure of encountering and he yaps endlessly about how pissed he is that he has to watch a crap Team from a crap City and on and on and on. After about half an hour, the memories and the love disappear and I lean over and I stare at him until he turns to me and I tell him that if he doesn’t pipe down, the only mistake spoken of today will be the fact that he couldn’t shut his fat fucking mouth. Part of me still loves. More of me doesn’t.

Lunch rolls around and most of the men go to the Dining Hall and they get sandwiches and they bring them back and they continue to watch football on the television. As I get ready to do the same, Ted walks up to me and tells me that someone from Administration is looking for me and that I’m wanted at the Front Desk. I ask him if he knows why and he tells me he has no idea why.

I get up and I go to the Front Desk and I tell the Receptionist my name. She smiles and she tells me that I have Visitors and she leads me through a short Hall toward a door.

They’re in there.

Who are they?

They asked me not to tell you.

Thank you.

She walks away and I stare at the door and I take a deep breath. I do not look forward to seeing People from my past. They rarely have kind things to say to me and I have always done something to deserve their disdain. I take a deep breath and I open the door and I hear laughing and the laughing stops and I step into the Room and my Brother is sitting at a table with a couple of formerly close friends of mine who live together in Minneapolis. My Brother stands.

What’s up, Buddy?

I smile.

Nothing.

He hugs me and I hug him back. It feels good.

What are you doing here?

We separate.

It’s Visiting Day. I wouldn’t miss Visiting Day.

I turn to my friends. Their names are Julie and Kirk.

What are you Guys doing here?

Julie smiles.

We wouldn’t miss Visiting Day either.

I smile.

Thanks.

Kirk stands and he hugs me and Julie follows him and we separate. There are a number of wrapped packages on the table. My Brother motions toward them.

It’s time for you to open your presents.

I sit.

You bring me these?

I brought a couple and they brought a couple.

I look to Julie and Kirk.

I didn’t think you’d ever speak to me again after last time.

Kirk laughs.

People do stupid things when they’re fucked up. We don’t ever need to talk about it again.

Thank you.

He pushes forward a box.

Now open.

The box is beautifully wrapped. The paper is bright and colorful and it says Get Well Soon and has a ribbon around it. I open it slowly and carefully and I almost wish I didn’t have to open it at all. It would be nice just to carry it around.

Beneath the paper there is a plain cardboard box. I open the box and inside of it there are three small wrapped packages. I pull them out and I look at Kirk and Julie.

You really didn’t have to do this.

Julie smiles.

We wanted to.

I smile and I look at the packages and I start to open them and I have to stop myself from crying. I do not deserve this kindness. I do not deserve it.

Inside the packages there is pair of wool slippers, two cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolates. I look at Julie and Kirk and I thank them and my voice cracks and they smile and my Brother pushes his boxes forward and they’re not as perfectly wrapped, but they’re beautiful as well.

I open them and there are two pair of khakis and two pairs of wool socks and two white T-shirts and two pairs of boxer shorts and a black wool sweater and a pair of pajamas and a black ball cap with the Cleveland Browns logo on the front. There is a toothbrush and some toothpaste and some shampoo and some soap and a can of shaving cream and a razor. There are some books.

I stare at all of my presents