Airel - Aaron Patterson [125]
I nodded, slightly, not wanting Kim to feel like a third wheel attached to a private conversation. For the first time, I saw my grandfather—Kreios—and I heard him in my mind once more. “This is just the beginning.”
Chapter VI
The next morning we were up early, except for Kim, who was sleeping off the bruises and soreness. I sat with Kreios before sunrise in the library, by the fireplace.
He wasn’t one for small talk, and that seemed especially appropriate now, given that we were up against so many negative possibilities, including the Brotherhood.
“I want to make sure you’re okay. I know all of this is a lot to take in.” Kreios looked over at me and I felt for the first time he was a real friend. Not just that; everything he did was for me, to help me. Knowing that he was also my grandfather made it just that much more real.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just trying to work it all out in my mind. I feel like I know you; as if a part of you has been inside me my entire life.” I could feel my heart tighten as I tried not to think about Michael. It was hard not to think about the man I was in love with.
“Airel, I know that all of this is difficult for you. You have enough to deal with on top of your realization that you have supernatural abilities. You were kidnapped and taken from everything you know. Your friend was abducted and nearly killed, your life has been upended, and…” I was glad he didn’t mention the primary crisis in my heart. He continued, “Well, any one of those things would be hard for an adult, much more so a young lady like you.” He folded his hands around a hot cup of tea and sighed.
My eyes burned. I tried to hold back the dam that was ready to break. I missed my parents, my school, and my life. I never asked for any of this. The one person I needed most after all of this was my mom. I needed to cry in her arms and to feel her love, to tell her how broken I was, and what sucked about it was how, no matter how bad I wanted to feel her near, I couldn’t. “I’m so scared! I feel so alone right now.”
Kreios touched my hand with gentle fingers. “Love is a different kind of thing, Airel. We can give our hearts away and lose ourselves in someone we love. I know what it’s like to love and to lose that person.”
“Yeah, but she died; she didn’t betray you, she didn’t lie to you, or lead you on about caring for you and then leave you!” Tears were now streaming down my cheeks. I wiped at them with the back of my hand.
“Yes, that’s true. I did love and still love my wife. I left everything I knew for her. I left the God who made me; I was the one who betrayed his love for me. For love, we do things we would not otherwise do. But one thing we have to understand is that true love is freedom.”
I looked at him and sucked in a deep breath. “What does that mean?”
“It means that you have to find out who you are. Who are you, Airel? Do not be defined by the man you love; do not lose who you are in the love of another. We can only love the way we were created to if we are first whole in ourselves. If you drown in your feelings for someone, it will turn to obsession and it will cloud your mind to reality.” He took a slow sip of his tea.
“I don’t know who I am. I’m confused, alone, hurt… and I feel like the one person I trusted most just cut out my heart. I know deep down that Michael loved me. I saw it in him. But he threw it all away, and for what? How can he just toss me aside like that?” My heart hurt so much I felt like it would burst. Hot tears flowed and I let them fall. I had to deal with my pain; I couldn’t hide it inside anymore.
“I don’t know why he did what he did. Maybe he did love you. Maybe there is more to the story than we will ever know. But even if he did love you and you were going to be together you have to step back and look at how you loved him. Do you see that it was unhealthy? Do you see how he was overtaking who you are as a person? You are bound for failure if you allow yourself to drown in each other.”
His eyes were very soft. “I love you Airel. I have been looking after you ever since you