Alex Kava Bundle - Alex Kava [548]
All through his childhood his sickness had been so obscure. He could never point to a bum leg or heart defect or a precious tumor and say, “See, this is what makes me sick to my stomach.” Had he been able to do so, they wouldn’t have dared to doubt him, to whisper about him in hospital corners, to suggest he “get counseling.”
They wouldn’t have dared to laugh at him and point and snicker when he asked to be dismissed from class. They wouldn’t have dared to call him weak and silly. If only he had had one cancerous tumor, one deformed limb to point to, they wouldn’t have dared call him anything but brave and strong, a little soldier instead of a whiny brat.
These people with their claims to pain made him angry, made him jealous, made him crazy with envy. They could complain all they wanted and no one told them to buck up and shut up. And they didn’t even realize the priceless treasures they possessed. Fools. All of them fools.
And so he cut them, slicing out that which made them different, made them special, that which gave them the right to complain and brag. He cut out their prizes and made them his own. It gave him power. It gave him control.
That’s what he needed to do with Joan Begley. He needed to do exactly as he set out to do in the beginning. That was the only way he could gain control over her. But what would he use?
He examined the tools and scratched at his jaw. He wasn’t even sure what it was that Joan possessed. Where would a hormone deficiency be located? Was it in the pituitary gland? That would be on the underside of the brain. He might need a drill and the bone saw. Or perhaps it was the thyroid gland, which would be a simple slit of the throat. Although, it could be one of the adrenal glands. Where the hell were they located? Somewhere over the kidneys, perhaps? He grabbed the illustrated medical dictionary off the top shelf and began flipping pages.
As he browsed the index, his fidgeting fingers found a boning knife, the curved blade razor sharp. And suddenly, he found himself hoping it was the thyroid. In fact, he thought he remembered her mentioning the thyroid. Yes, that would be good. After cleaning up her vomit over and over again, he wouldn’t mind slitting Joan Begley’s throat.
CHAPTER 54
Thursday, September 18
“You don’t have to fix breakfast for me, Mr. Racine,” Maggie said, but her mouth was already watering from the aroma of hash browns and sausage sizzling in one skillet while Luc prepared another with scrambled eggs.
“No, no, I want to. God! I miss this.” He splashed some milk and fresh ground pepper into the scrambled eggs, stirring and flipping with the expertise of a short-order cook. “I don’t get to do this anymore. I don’t trust myself to shut off the stove.” He glanced back at her. “I’m only telling you so you’ll keep an eye on things and make sure that I don’t leave something on. Would you do that, please?”
He kept his back to her. Maggie knew it was not an easy thing for him to ask. She wondered if that was the real reason he wouldn’t let her call Julia. Did his daughter know that he was deteriorating?
“Sure. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Nope. Got the table all set.” He looked around. “Maybe some orange juice. I noticed your friend brought some last night.” He opened one cupboard door, then another and one more before grabbing two glasses to hand to her. This time he couldn’t hide the slight flush of embarrassment. “I think he likes you.”
“What?”
“The professor, he likes you.”
This time she felt a slight flush. She found the juice and poured. “We’re working on a case together. That’s all.”
“What? You don’t like him?” He glanced at her over his shoulder.
“No, I didn’t say that. It’s just that I guess I haven’t thought about him that way.”
“Why not? He’s a handsome young man. I noticed you’re unattached.”
“I don’t know why not. I’m just…I’m not…” She realized that she sounded like some tongue-tied teenager.