All She Ever Wanted - Barbara Freethy [75]
"Maybe I wasn't. Look where I am now, in this perfect house, with my perfect family, and I'm not happy." She blinked rapidly, her mouth starting to tremble.
"Laura, what's wrong?"
"Everything's wrong. It's supposed to be right, but it's not. And I don't know what to do."
Natalie took Laura's hand and pulled her toward the couch. "Let's sit down, and you can tell me what your choices are."
"I don't know what my choices are," Laura complained. "That's the problem. I feel like I'm trapped, and I did it all to myself." She paused. "I looked for Emily's journal like you asked, Natalie. I didn't find it, but I did find some other stuff." Laura drew in a deep breath and continued. "There are weird deposits and withdrawals in my bank account. You have to understand that I don't do the banking. Drew does. He pays the bills, too. He's always been big on being the provider. I have so much else to do that I never fought him on it. But I started going through our statements, and I don't know where this money is coming from or where it's going."
Natalie didn't like the sound of that, but she was trying to be a friend. "It could be legitimate, bonuses at work."
"Yes, you're right. I know he gets bonuses on big cases, so it could very well be that. I just don't like the fact that he never mentioned any bonuses or big withdrawals. Fifteen thousand dollars goes in, then it goes out. What did he pay for? I can't follow a trail."
"Maybe you should just ask him."
"He won't be back until tomorrow. I don't want to do it on the phone. Frankly, there are a lot of things we need to talk about, but Drew is so touchy lately. I can't say anything right. I think it's possible he's having an affair."
"I hope that's not true."
"It's my fault. I try to keep myself in shape, but I eat too much, and—"
"Stop," Natalie said, cutting her off deliberately. "If Drew is cheating, it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. I don't care if you've gained five pounds or fifty pounds. You can't blame yourself for your husband's actions."
"You always see everything in black and white, but it's complicated," Laura said, a bit of a familiar whine in her voice.
"You make it complicated, Laura."
"That's probably true." Laura hesitated, giving Natalie a searching look. "Do you think people can fall out of love? Or do you think real love lasts forever?"
Natalie didn't know how to answer that question. "I'm not an expert on love, Laura, but I think it takes a lot of work to keep a relationship going. There are going to be good times and bad times through the years."
"I was listening to some talk show," Laura said, "and they had on this woman who'd been married for forty years, and they asked her what her secret was, and she said, 'We never fell out of love at the same time. There was always one of us trying to hang on.' I think I'm the only one right now trying to hang on. In fact, sometimes I think Drew wants me to ask him something or push him in some direction. He wants an excuse to get mad or have an affair or walk out on us, because he can't do it for some selfish reason. My parents love him to death, but they wouldn't like it if he abandoned me. On the other hand, if they thought I'd been the one to screw up, they'd probably take his side." Laura sighed. "I'm sorry. You don't want to hear about my marital problems."
"I don't mind. I wish I could give you some brilliant advice, but I don't know anything about what it takes to make a marriage