All She Ever Wanted - Barbara Freethy [83]
She didn't have to finish her thought. He knew what she was thinking—unless this book destroyed her career, the life she had built for herself.
"I'm a little surprised you chose to work in the emergency room," he said, trying to distract her. "It doesn't sound very structured or organized, the kind of environment you said you prefer. Why didn't you pick something less stressful?"
"It is organized in a weird way. It's like chaos contained. You never know what's going to come through those double doors when the ambulances pull up, sirens screaming, people crying. But the madness stays there. Or at least that's where I leave it. When I go home, I'm done with it. I realized a long time ago that I'm bad at relationships."
"That's not true—"
She put her hands on his chest, stopping him with a smile. "It is true. After Emily died, after the group split up, I shied away from making new friends. I didn't want to get close to anyone else. When I had to choose a specialty, I realized that if I were a pediatrician, I'd have to get to know families. They'd come to count on me. They'd share their lives with me. I'd watch their kids grow up. I'd become attached. What if I messed up then? What if I let them down? In the ER I don't have to deal with the person, only with their physical problems. I can think of my patients as the broken arm, the head laceration, the burned right hand. I don't even have to know their names or where they live or what their background is. It's safer that way."
"You changed your specialty because of what happened to Emily?" he asked with surprise.
"It had something to do with it, I guess. It was definitely a turning point in my life."
"Mine, too." The boat suddenly rocked against the dock and Cole realized they'd landed at the island. "Ready for some exploring?" he asked.
"Absolutely."
They got off the boat and began the trek up to the top of the island where the jail was located. It was a long, uphill walk that they took at a fast pace. They started out strolling; then Cole walked faster, just to see if Natalie would try to keep up, and of course she did. By the time they reached the very top, they were running and short of breath.
"You have to make everything a race," she said to him with a laugh.
"It takes two to race," he said, appreciating the sparkle in her eyes.
"Thank God you made me buy running shoes. I'd never have made it up here in my high heels." She looked around and waved her hand at the scene. "You were right. This is an incredible view."
He had to agree. The breeze had blown away all the clouds and San Francisco spread out before them like a picture postcard. He could see the Transamerica Pyramid with its steep point towering above the other buildings; Coit Tower, a building in the shape of a fireman's hose that sat on the rolling hills above North Beach; and the colorful boats and piers that dotted the waterfront. He'd spent so much time thinking about getting out of this city that it surprised him now to feel such a strong connection to it. This was his city. His family had lived here for four generations. His roots were here. Hell, he was here. And it didn't look like he was leaving anytime soon. He waited for the yearning to twist his gut into a familiar knot, but it didn't come. Why hadn't it come? It always came.
"Shall we take the tour?" Natalie asked, interrupting his thoughts.
"We could just walk around."
"Then we won't learn anything about the prison or the island, unless you know it all."
He made a face at her. "I don't, but that sounds a lot like school to me."
"It does, doesn't it?" she said with an eagerness that made him laugh.
"Fine, we'll buy the tour. I think we can pick up the headphones over there."
An hour later Cole was glad they'd purchased the guided tour. He'd found the story of the prison and its inmates fascinating and it had been interesting to see which of the small cells had belonged to which prisoners.